


Break Down The Chains and Run For The Wind.

by enigma_scars



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Actor Louis, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Louis, Cabbie Harry, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Famous Louis, Fluff and Smut, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, Liam Payne & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, M/M, Niall Horan & Harry Styles Friendship, Non-Famous Harry, OTP Feels, Past Rape/Non-con, Problematic Louis, Read, Romantic Fluff, Sad Louis, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Louis, The Author Regrets Everything, Top Harry, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-02-22 16:04:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13170369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigma_scars/pseuds/enigma_scars
Summary: Harry has special powers that allow him to look at peoples auras.Louis is a troubled superstar.Harry is also a cabbie, a grocery-store worker, and a student.While, Louis suffers from his pasts demons.Harry sees more than just an aura around Louis, and Louis is more than just a troubled actor.Louis falls in love too quickly.Harry sends him on his way to fight for his own good.A journey of love, hate, trauma, and heartbreak.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lovers!
> 
> It's a lovely night in Winter and all I can think about is how my nose is blocked and there's Chocolate cake infront of me, but the temptation to post this fic beats everything.
> 
> With loads of care I put these characters to life and I want everybody to love them as I did.
> 
> Please treat them with kindness, they are fragile. But don't handle them with love, they tend to shy away.
> 
> They are insecure little messes, piece of me hiding in them. so it's more like I have made hocruxes without killing them.
> 
> I hope you love this story as I did. I am not going to say that it is easy on the eyes, it's really not, it's terrifying. But to me that is their beauty. 
> 
> I love how this entire fic is a metaphor and you will see me comparing their lives as metaphors too many times through out this fic.
> 
> I love how their love is so strong and yet so sweet and fragile.
> 
> I just want to say, they are all hurt and confused and.. and... I don't know. I don't have words to say anything.
> 
> Please read it, because the summary doesn't do any justice to what is within.
> 
> All the love,  
> M.  
> XXX

Colours make you human, so does loving and so does blood. But bleeding love is distinct.

The first time it happened was on his 13th birthday. Harry Styles woke up one day to the sounds of his sister's and mother's annoying murmuring. Consciousness crept up on him and so did the sudden war cry. Two seconds later the shout of ‘Happy Birthday!’ had Harry jumping out of his skin and bed. But what scared him further were the singular, bright band of colours on his mother's and sister's back. Purple for Gemma and Lavender for his mum.

 

His scream had made his step-father alert and he stepped upstairs with a shotgun in hand. His step father had the colour orange glowing like the sunset behind him. Harry blinked a million times to make sure he wasn't dreaming. “This isn't a dream, my boy. You are an Aura seer.”Anne had said, giggling at his bewildered son.

  
“Why does he get such a cool one? All I can do is make plants grow.” Gemma had whined. Robin had laughed, but a nervous glint to it, as if he knew something Harry didn’t, well, Harry didn't know anything. “You all know about this? What do you mean you can grow plants? Mum, Robin, I am confused? Why can I see your colours? Why do you have colours? What is an aura seer?” Harry had asked, estranged.

  
“Patience my boy, patience. Have a bath and calm yourself before you come down. But, stay careful. You are new to this and your power is your eyes, they can play games with your sight. If anyone, unknown or a stranger comes up to talk to you, you come and tell us the first thing.” Robin had warned as a grumbling Gemma and an ecstatic Anne followed him downstairs.

  
Harry had sat down on his bed and then he thought hard, and came to the conclusion that he might be going crazy. He thought he had cooked up this story and that if he pinched himself too hard, he might wake up. He only gets hurt and as he sees the skin of his forearm turn red, where he pinched himself.

  
“Harry! Come downstairs, baby. Breakfast is ready.” He heard his mum call out to him. He was startled once again, and his eyes opened up wide as he realized this was all real, “Shit....”

 

~~~~~~

 

_And yet here’s that greyness in your mixture._

  


The first thing that Harry notices about the person who enters his cab isn’t his loud smile or gaudy clothing. But it’s the ever-looming shade of the horrendous grey, most people lived with. Their real colours masked with the blunder they defined themselves with.

  
“Where are we going today?” Harry asks with a soft smile.

  
“Hi, can you take me to sixth and third by Holly’s?” Archie says with a slow drawl.

  
“Sure. Sit tight.” Harry says as he revs the cab.

  
The lad nods and tears pool in his eyes as he tries to look away. Harry notices it through the rear mirror and softens the blare of the radio.

 

“What's wrong?” Harry asks in a worried voice. The lad refuses to answer.

 

“Talk to a stranger. It's the best way to rid all your worries. Never gonna meet you again, no chance of judging you either. I am a cabbie for the love of god.” Harry says.

 

“Well, I am about to meet my parents and tell them that I am gay and I am worried they are going to disown me. It's easier for them to do so. Given that I have been staying with my boyfriend who my family knows to be best friend. I found out I am adopted. This entire thing is so fucked up. And I am so sorry I couldn’t hold myself up anymore. I burst out on you, mate. Sorry.” The lad says voice jumpy and watery as he weeps.

  
“Listen to me mate, it's no worries. Cry all you want. If your parents loved you enough to adopt you back then. Put up with your shit all this time, they will still love you after you come out to them. And if you decided to come out to them, then you already have seen signs that mean that they are not homophobic. You have a loving boyfriend. With the acceptance of your parents you could do better. All this nervousness is okay but be strong and determined. How old are you anyways?” Harry says.

  
“I am 20.” The boy says, crying with a lulled sound.

  
Harry takes a smooth turn and then says, “Well you have a job? A flat? A special someone? You have it all. All you need is approval. Keep this in mind, they made you who you are as a person but they don’t have any right to put you down. Their disapproval won't change who you are.” Harry explains, looking at him through the rear mirror.

  
“Yeah, yeah. No you are right. They will take me as I come...” The lad starts.

  
“Or they can watch as you go.” Harry finishes, and shrugs.

 

Harry comes to a stop outside Holly's and the boy wipes his tears as he smiles at Harry. He gets down before paying his fare and bidding him goodbye.

 

“Hey wait up. Here's my card. Call me if you need a ride.” Harry says sticking his card out the window for him to take.

  
“Harry Styles. Cabbie and the stranger who doesn’t judge. See you around mate.”

  


~~~~~~

  


  


_Why does this rainbow haunt you? Is it because you are colourful within?_

  


“Harry to aisle three. Harry to aisle three.” The speaker booms and Harry perks up and excuses himself as he sees the last of the customers bid goodbye.

  
He shuts the door and turns the closed sign around. He goes to the third aisle and sees that most of his co-workers were there, discussing something.

  
“Hey guys. What happened?” Harry asks confused.

  
“It's no use calling him, guys.” One of the guys says.

  
“Yeah, that's because he is a college student who needs to get studying. He has only two hours to submit his English project and then he has to go for his night shift as a cabbie and he will only be back by 4AM for two hours of sleep before slipping out again for his early morning class and then...” Niall takes a deep breath.

  
“And other things that everybody doesn’t need to know. Niall you are going to party on a weekday? It's fine by me. But this time you call me for a lift I am charging you. Also you have a maths paper tomorrow at 12. Don't suck too many dicks. Also it's not my turn to close tonight. Hallelujah mcfucks.” Harry sasses as he goes towards the back. He changes out of the lime green uniform shirt and back into his black shirt he had been wearing all day.

  
Niall cackles at that. He shakes his head at his co-workers and makes a show of leaving them behind to go change along with Harry.

 

“I am not gonna party tonight. Thought could go back together. Yeah? Need to pass maths.” Niall says when he steps into the locker room.

 

Harry nods with a smile and walks behind Niall as he goes out the exit and towards the parking lot.

 

“I hope you do well on your test tomorrow, Ni.” Harry tells Niall.

 

“And I hope you get good grade on your assignment.” Niall says back.

  
“I am done submitting already, lamo.” Harry cackles. Niall looks at him with his jaw touching the ground.

 

“Then, then, that?” Niall says flabbergasted.

  
“To get you home. Don't wanna worry about you getting alcohol poisoning a month before Christmas hols. Go get your A. Will treat you to your drinks worth later.” Harry says as he smacks Niall’s bum.

 

Niall cackles as he looks at Harry as he stood on the curb looking endeared at his best friend. “Make some cash, baby.” Niall shouts as Harry leaves.

 

Harry laughs as he drives towards his usual stop. Outside Everest Therapy Centre, one stop for all sorts of therapists. Nature Therapy, acupuncture, psychological therapy of different sorts, et cetera. It was 10:05, usual time for the receptionists, janitors, therapists, last of the clients, etc to go away. But today he notices something weird. There in the far off corner of the curb stood, a small group of people with shady looking clothes and cameras in hand. Even their auras were disturbing. It was a peculiar sight.

 

Harry didn’t pay any heed to it as he sat, car parked, radio playing old classics. He sees the people exit the building through the revolving door at the front. Some cars parked in front of him started as drivers spotted their respective riders. He sat idle and so did the men in the dark corner of the archway. Soon the people exiting became sparse. He had seen Dr. Chen and Georgia leave; he had seen their receptionist and other office workers leave. He had seen the gaggle of women from acupuncture parlour leave together. He had seen other doctors leave, some followed by their patients. Harry almost knew everyone by name, having given each of them at least a dozen of rides in the past year and half.

 

He knew Dr. Severna and Rebecca were yet to leave. He took a glance at his watch and saw that it was 25 past 10 and yet these people didn’t leave. He thinks that they took a leave today, he thinks. But as he says that, he sees the doctor and the receptionist leave. He waves to them as they pass his cab to get to their own cars.

 

After they have left the premises the janitors leave. They talk aloud about having a drink-night or black-jack night. He smiles at most of them as they walk past him smiling at the young man who is there almost every night. He sighs when the building becomes empty. He guesses he won’t be getting a passenger here tonight. He sighs as he picks at the music buttons to change the station and opens the windows.

 

He looks up from where he was finding a good station to play, when he hears a commotion outside. He hears loud shouts and stomps and angry flashes going off. He sees the men on the dark curb hounding a single person. All these men mobbing one person. It sent red flags up in his mind. He revved the cabs engine and drove to where the little person was trying to evade the people. Harry stopped the car, the engine running as he got down helping the person who had now bent down, hands on their ears.

 

He shoved the cameramen away. He doesn’t know why, but he picks the doubled down person up and shouts at the men to stop following them. He puts the person with their head between their knees in the back seat and closes the door with lots of force. The windows in the back were already up. Someone shoves a camera in his face with incoherent shouts of questions. So he does what any common person would, he shoves the men behind. He pushes the cameras aside and gets into the car as fast as he could. He threatens to drive over the people if they don’t move aside.

 

The threat does it for them as they move aside and let him go. He drives away, with no other care but the person in the back who was still rolled into a ball in the middle of the seat. Harry drives off towards James Park, the closest place that will have open air and no crowds. This person was claustrophobic. Yet those assholes mobbed them and shoved a camera in their face as if that would help the situation.

  
Harry was furious, he was fuming. He stopped the car and parked before he looked back and saw the person was still lying like they were before. Harry rubs a hand over his face and then combs his hair with his fingers, tugging at the roots. The radio stops as he opens the door and gets out before opening the back in getting inside. He deliberates a lot before actually touching the person’s shoulder. And when he does, the person jerks up and wipes their face before sniffling. He sees reddish-brown facial hair and notices the lack of a bulbous chest indicating it was a man.

 

“Hey, mate, I am sorry for like intruding but you looked a bit too much distressed. You were sitting down on the curb, rolled like a cat. Yet those assholes were shoving their cameras in your face. I did what I thought would be best and picked you up and brought you here. Shit, if someone is waiting for you better call them and tell them that you are near James Park, or I could drive you home. My name is Harry, shit I’m rambling.” Harry mutters aloud what started as a comforting statement. But it ended in a jumbled sentence of un-explanatory statement. But it got a small laugh out of the person.

  
“Thank you, Harry. I will forever be grateful of you. And no, no one is waiting for me. I was going to catch a cab to go back home, but instead those paps somehow found me. I guess, me going to a psychologist is also major news. At least for Hollywood and English cinema-fanatics. Sorry you had to get amidst this.” The guy whose face Harry is yet to see says.

 

A silence sets upon them, their breaths and little sniffles filling the car’s atmosphere. A bus passes by them and the front-lights cast shadows on their faces, looming away till it went a distance. Harry sees as the person raises their head. The only thing he can see are bright blue crystals, hiding under long eye-lashes. His eyes are inhumane. They enrapture him and drown him in their oceanic cerulean. The light bounces off the glossy orbs. The skin under them was purplish-red. Small veins seeming haunted with sleeplessness, and skin rubbed red all over. A small button nose and facial hair that was the perfect amount. Hair falling on his forehead as though trying to hide this beauty from the entire world’s bad. But that was a job Harry wanted.

 

The man’s beauty was overwhelming. His unkempt look was enough to make Harry self-conscious. It reminded him of the small curry stain on his jeans. Jeans which were unfashionable and adorned with ripped-knees from over-use. Which were now covered with black duct-tape. And his passé black tee with roll-stitched sleeves. His hair was greasy from not washing it for the past-week. His armpits reeked from working all day. He definitely smelled like spilled coffee, ink and rotten vegetables.

  
He scrunches his nose but then he realizes in that moment who this person was. Cheekbones to die for, blue eyes that starred all his wet-dreams. And that scratchy-breathy voice that had mastered all his orgasms; a person he has looked up to since he was 14. The man who has starred in an inevitable number of his dreams. The man who gave him inspiration to come out as Gay™. It was THE SEXIEST MAN OF 2013, 2014, 2015. Vogue’s Best Dressed Man 2015. 13 times Oscar nominated. This man was the second richest man under 30, falling only after Daniel Radcliffe. And former love-interest of Zac Efron (it ended real quick, good for Harry). A secretive man with all sorts of secrets buried in his past that makes his all that much sexy and a man. Harry would have described this man as Hot, Rugged, Sexy and Mysterious. Harry was mad about this man and here he was sat in his cab in sweatpants and an Adidas hoodie and some Vans. Was this all a dream?

  
“You are Louis Tomlinson.” Harry squeaks embarrassed.

 

  
  


 


	2. 2

_Let me help you, I can see that you are breaking._

  
“Dr. Severna. Psychologist. What a load of bullshit, Liam? What is this? What kind of new scam is this?” Louis shouted as he stomped around his living room with nothing but soccer shorts on.

 

“It’s not a scam you dick. It’s the last method I used to decide whether I should end up taking the break or not. He is effective. Expensive, but effective.” Liam answers.  


“You mean to say the man who explained to you that being gay is okay? That being a supermodel is better than a gym trainer? The guy who you went to with your sexuality crisis? Liam? What has this got to do with my life?” Louis asked as he paced around the room with the football in his hands.

  
“Everything.” Liam answered, as Louis threw his football back at the wall, near to where he picked it up from.

 

“This isn’t SpongeBob Sqaurepants, you oaf. Details, tell me what, why, how and all that shit. Not something dumb like, everything.” Louis mocked Liam.

 

“How about I make a call to his receptionist and ask her to hook you up? I am the worst person to be explaining something like this.” Liam answered, confused and a little embarrassed.

 

Louis moved from pacing across the living room to his open bar where a shit ton of junk food lay. He grabs the almost empty bottle of Pringles, cream and onion, and munches on them like a savage.

 

“How did you end up with an English and Philosophy professor?” Louis asked as he chewed on his chips.

 

“Stop that, its gross. And hey, Zayn loves me and I love him too, okay? It’s offensive when you try to make me feel dumb.” Liam says with a huff.

 

“Liam, Lima, Zayn’s dick holder-” “Hey!” “That got your attention.” Louis laughed at Liam’s angry face, as he moved to sit next to Liam on the armrest of the one-seater.  


“What do you want Louis?” Liam answered, unimpressed.

  
“Your case seems strong, you compelled me into this. You make an appointment for today evening. And I will treat you and your model boyfriend to lunch.” Louis said as he slinked down, next to Liam’s face with a goofy look.

 

“We are not going to Preston’s!” Liam exclaimed as Louis kissed his cheeks, slobbering up and running away.

 

“I didn’t hear you.” Louis calls back, laughing.

 

Liam hated Louis.

 

He was lying.

  


~~~~~~

  


_Yellow is the colour of happiness, so said Van Gogh._

__  
  


“Hello, this is Dr. Severna’s office. This is Rebecca speaking. How may I help you?” The receptionist says.

  
“Hello, Hi, yeah. This is Liam speaking. I wanted to book an appointment for healing and reading tonight. Anything after 8 would be good.” Liam says as he bites his bottom lip, a nervous habit.

 

“Who am I booking this session for?”

 

“Louis Tomlinson. It’s spelt L-O-U-I-S, it’s French, not American.” Liam retorted the way Louis would.

 

“We have an opening from 8:30 to 10, would that be suitable? Or if there are any cancellations, we can book them for 8 to 10.” She replies.

 

“8 to 10 seems perfect.” Liam says after a quiet laugh.

 

“Your friend can come in at 8. Dr. Severna will be taking a break from 6:30 to 7:30, but after that he will be right back. Is that okay?” Rebecca asks.

  
“Sure, and thanks Rebecca!” Liam says as he hangs up.

  
“You have an appointment from 8-10, most likely, you hear me Louis?” Liam shouts to let Louis know.

  
“Okay, father.” Liam hears back.

  
He hates Louis.

 

~~~~~~  


_Are you broken, grey, hazy bits? Or crazy with stolen bits?_

_  
_ “But baby, I love you! I made a mistake, can you not forgive me for that this one teensy bit?” Cameron asks.

  
“Sleeping thrice with your secretary? One mistake? How dare you? How very dare you? I used to hate you for doing this to me, but guess what Cameron; I don’t bloody care, not anymore.” Louis says as tears start pooling in his eyes.

“Please, please think again. I will never do this again! I swear on your head baby!” Cameron moves forward to touch Louis, but Louis flinches and moves back to safety as fast as he could.

 

“No, don’t touch me! Never touch me again. Get out! Get the fuck out and never come back!” Louis screams, tears rolling down his cheeks. Cameron leaves at the last word, the door slamming behind him.

 

Louis crashes down on the floor, crying and screaming. And before he knows it he calls somebody on his phone, “I need help.”

 

And the voice replies, the sound echoing in the empty silence, “Give me five minutes.” And then Louis hangs up, a beep sounding afterwards.

 

“And... cut! That’s a wrap guys! Good shot, Tomlinson! Great job again! Party at Mike’s tonight.” The director says once the scene cuts off.

 

“I am not coming to Mike’s, his flat is like in Nevada or some shit.” Louis says as someone hands a wet towel to him to wipe away the fake tears and the spoiled makeup.

 

“Hey, I don’t stay that far. And you are also allowed to stay the night. Liam won’t mind the empty house one night.” Mike says, coming up behind Louis and trying to press him to the wall.

 

Louis ducks away. The moment awakening a memory he would rather not remember. He puts a hand on Mike’s chest and says, “If I were you, I wouldn’t take the role of Cameron so much into character. And anyways, I would much rather sleep within the sanctity of my own bedroom. Where grimy hands don’t come up to touch me without sense or reason. But thanks for the offer, Mike.”

 

“Oh, burn! Louis ruined Mike’s ego! He isn’t getting laid!” Someone from the crew says.

 

“Nothing I haven’t ruined before.” Louis says as he walks back into his vanity room.

 

He can hear snickers and loud comments about Mike and himself from within. He shakes his head at the stupidity of the guy. This is one another, in the list of thousand things that he would want to erase from his memory and his past. Instead he lights a cigarette as he looks over his next few lines. He sees that his next scene requires him in the nude. The shoot will be next Monday; he had time to get through his regular salon appointment.

 

He packs his bag, as he taps his cigarette on the ashtray on the coffee-table in his room. He takes a quick drag and breathing in the nicotine and releasing it in small puffs. He had an addiction, he wasn’t proud of it.

  
Louis rose to fame after his role as the supporting actor in a children’s movie as a child actor. But with fame came all the flashes and people’s sudden right over his life. The whirlwind of fame had sucked him in head-first and he was more close to drowning than he was to surviving. The man was famous across the globe.

 

His first real break came when he worked with Emma Watson and Ezra Miller in a book adaptation. Since then he had worked in several movies. He also modelled for CK and Adidas. He then went on to work in several TV shows and sitcoms that brought him much more fame than anticipated... He was always mobbed, no matter where he went.

 

Right now, he was on the sets of Fraternity (Season 2). He was the lead and the show revolved around him and all the things affecting him. He stepped out of the sets, sunglasses on, a cigarette behind his ear. His hands curled around his small bag-pack and hoodie baggy on his petite shoulders.

 

His security guard was stood behind him as they led him out of the set apartment building. His fans were stood outside, screaming and shouting and flashing cameras on his face. People loved him everywhere he went. But there were always haters around. The reason wasn’t bad acting or anything at all.

 

“Faggot, you will rot in hell!”

 

It was him being gay. And proud. And gay.

 

“You are ruining an entire generation. QUEER!”

 

“I HOPE YOU DIE!”

 

At that the fans or some other people released havoc on the group of men who were shouting. The crowd started screaming and pushing each other. His cigarette fell as someone’s hand came up to ruffle his hair as he walked past the people he didn’t care about. If this were any other day, he wouldn’t have shown any signs of remorse. His security guard, Mickey, pushed people out of his way, along with the building security to help him pass. He would usually do a peace sign and blow kisses to everyone in the crowd. He would sign a couple of photos that the fans handed. He would shake hands with almost everyone standing close to him. But tonight, he succumbs to his most instinctual habit and he crouches as he gives into his fear. A can of soda lands next to him as a couple of shoes rain down on him. Mickey picks him up, body shivering, crying and sobs sounding awful. Mickey combs his fingers through Louis’ ruffled up hair ushers him into the SUV.

  
He tries to be nonchalant about all this. This happens almost anytime he has a predetermined destination and work. If his fans know where he is and they will mob him. Even though he is claustrophobic and had severe social anxiety, he will bear it for the sake of the fans.

 

As soon as the doors close, Mickey starts stroking his back to calm him down. After almost 9 years of being there for him, Mickey was habitual to this behaviour. He knew how to calm him down and he knew what to do if it got out of hand.

 

“Shh, Louis. You are alright, we are going home. Do you want me to call Liam?”   


Louis continues to shake a little, but he shakes it off muttering that he is being a sissy. After years of media training, no one ever found out how much trouble it was for Louis to talk to fans. The mobs almost swallow him whole and spit him out chewed. People only saw the side of him that was people friendly and fan-loving. He always seemed cheery, and smiling and cussing. He was not this weak and broken man who cannot even manage to walk amongst ten people. He should be able to walk without having a public meltdown. People saw an always happy man, not the trampled and hurt man. But tonight he gave up. Tonight he let everyone see how vulnerable he is.

 

“I want to go home. Hope no one took a video of that one group of men screaming.” Louis says as he wipes his face with his hands and combs his hair with his fingers. He tried to look like he wasn’t sweating and shivering and almost crying, right now.

 

“I don’t think anyone did. But if they did, we can always call Liz.” His PR manager, a lovely lady.

 

“Yeah, yeah, you are right, thanks Mickey.” Louis whispers as he shuts off again. He doesn’t like this, not one bit.

 

They reach home as fast as they could, skipping traffic. He is finally left alone at the gates of a lonely mansion he shares with his best mate. He sees the porch lights on and bids everyone in the car goodnight as he steps away and on to the porch. He sees the SUV drive away as he rings the bell and he hears Liam shout from within, ‘Coming.’   


Liam was wearing his batman apron and Muppets mittens. He was cooking up a feast.

 

“Liam, it smells good.” Louis’ voice cracks, all his determination to hold up his act dissolving. As soon as he sees the guilty and sad eyes of his best mate, his dam breaks.

 

“Loubear, how are you? Looks like you had a rough day, come ‘ere darling.” Liam somehow always knew when Louis was feeling low. Even if he didn't knew how low exactly, but his eyes were so loud and they showed exactly how he felt and Louis was a weak man.

 

He falls into Liam’s open arms and sobs aloud. Liam strips him of his bag pack and shuts the door, pulling them inside and dropping his hand’s contents on the floor. “It’s alright baby, it’s going to be alright. Tell me why are you so sad, what happened today?” Liam whispers as he pulls off the mittens and rubs Louis’ neck.

  


“I am so tired. I want to go away, is that too much to ask? I want to be invisible, I want to go away and so that no one ever sees me again.” Louis says as his tears seep into Liam’s scoop-neck shirt. Liam coddles him and tries to stop his tears.

 

“Well, guess what if you go away, leave me your money and this house as well all your cars, okay?” Liam says in an attempt to make him laugh.

 

Louis laughs. He sniffles and attempts to stop crying, “Guess what shithead, you are my poor kitchen maid, be in your limits.”

 

“What do you need, your highness?” Liam plays along.

 

“Your life, but right now, I am hungry and I need food.” Louis admits.

 

“Right away.” Liam says as he tries to pull back, but Louis keeps holding on to him. “Two more minutes.” Liam holds onto him tighter and imagines a world where he could fix Louis and put all him together. But he cannot and he finds peace in holding the smaller lad closer.

 

They have dinner and Louis puts up his best acting face. He pretends to be the happiest pill around and eases Liam’s worries.

 

~~~~~~  


  


_Hands around my neck, a finger down my ear, tie me with a rope, snide in no tear._  


Louis sneaks out. He runs away. He wears his joggers and a jacket and takes his car keys and his house keys and his wallet and cell. He changes his voicemail and leaves a note on the kitchen table for Liam or the maid, or whoever finds it first. And he leaves. He has had years of media training to make him feel stoic enough to believe in his own feud less acting. He is behaving like he is happy and he is pretending that he doesn’t have issues. He likes to believe that no one will care if he leaves right now. He knows that there are papers in his locker. Papers about all his money. It is already written. In case Louis disappears for more than a year, Liam will become the receiver of all assets and property. The lad had no idea what he had gotten himself into. His best mate was about to disappear and leave his entire money to him.

 

He opens the garage door and slips into his black Porsche. He throws his little bag-pack in the front seat, and opens the automatic gates and revs the silent engine. He doesn’t know when he became so scared of his own self. Even that reflection in the mirror haunts him as he backs out and leaves the gates of his safe premise. He turns on the radio in his car and looks at his surroundings. He was on the highway and he didn’t know where he was going, but he was leaving, could be forever. He had his wallet; he could always use his cards for the money.

 

He doesn’t remember when he left London and was on his way north. His subconscious taking over to take him up-north was a lot worrisome. Now that he had caught the route he couldn’t stop but only speed up to the max and listen to the engine roar. The radio blaring Sam Smith and ‘Midnight Train’ was the song he wanted.

 

He feels so numb that he doesn’t recollect when he started crying, the tears blurring his vision. He doesn’t slow his car and scares himself with the thought that he wants nothing more than to crash and end his agony. He takes the next exit and slows down as he reaches the edge of some woods. It looked secluded and lonely enough to release the adrenaline pent up within him.

 

He parks his car and sits with his windows closed. He stays there till he gathers enough energy to walk outside and into the forest. He takes his bag-pack, emptied of the extra clothes and water bottles. He leaves his phone in the car. He gets down and mutters an, ‘Oh well', before walking faster to see what he finds in here, wild animals. Ghosts, witches, black magicians?

 

But after a five minute walk he sees the woods dispersing out to show him an opening. He feels like he walked into somebody’s private property. But the trees clear out towards an abandoned beach and a small cabin with the lights out.

 

He steps forward and sees that the water is clear and still. The water reflects the serene full moon and the stars blinking across the horizon. He has a quick idea and immediately throws his bag at a rock near to the water that was dry. He runs down and jumps from the little cliff on the farther side of the land. The water engulfs him. Ensnaring him, dismantling his functions to make him one of its own. The water splashes around him and the impact leaves his body cold and hurt but it makes him feel alive. He sees around him to find that he was a lot farther from the top than he would have anticipated. He didn’t even take a deep breath before jumping and he was quite breathless right now. His lungs burning and the oxygen level dwindling faster than ever. He pushes up and tries to swim as fast as he can because now he was choking.

 

As he breaks surface, he gasps out loud and breaths in. He feels tears prick the back of his eyes as he swims towards the banks, his clothes clinging to him. As he reaches the shore he leans against a rock and stares at the moon. He folds down and his knees come up to hide his face, his hands in his hair, tugging at the roots. The sobs wracking out of him.

  
He feels like he is living a lie, every single time he smiles for a picture. Each time he hugs a person he doesn’t want to. Every time he puts out a cigarette, he was hurting. Every time the beer jug touches his lips, he was hurting. Every time that single voice hurts him over and over again, he cannot get it to shut up. And yet he smiles for the people around him.

 

Every time he goes out to the club on a weekend and dances on men who won’t remember his face in an hour, he was hurting. Every time he grinds on somebody to soothe the ache within him, he was hurting. His unquenchable thirst of feeling wanted always leading to wrong decisions. Every time bounties of men hang off of him like a flock of harpies, clawing at his skin, he was hurting. Finding happiness in those faceless secrets and meaningless sex, he had been hurting. But he pretended to be hollow. He was dwindling every moment but he lives it, because he feels addicted to this fake bright glow of life.

 

But tonight, his dam broke releasing everything within. Like small rivulets branching out in several directions, stress, anxiety, depression, frustration. Everything tearing him from the inside out. And he can only cry. He gets cold and his lips turn blue, but he feels more alive than he has in the past 8 years. He cries like a new born, screaming his frustrations out.

 

He camps out there the entire night after he comes out of the water. He stares at the moon, hoping it had the answers he seeks. But like every other person he has asked, all he gets back is silence. In exchange of the deepest, darkest secrets he has held in his heart, all he got was silence.

 

 

 

~~~~~~

 

 

“You are Louis Tomlinson.” Harry squeaks embarrassed.

 

“A fan I suppose?” Louis laughs. Looking into Harry’s eyes, which makes Harry’s face heat up.

 

“I am sorry, I-I have only dreamt of meeting you since I was a young teen. I don’t want to go into Fanboy mode right now. Let’s get you home, Mr. Tomlinson.” Harry says feigning dignity.

 

“Yes. Thank you Harry. Please could you drive me to Regent Park?” Louis says in small voice as his face falls when Harry moves back into his professional stance.

 

“Right-o sir.” Harry says as he puts the key into ignition and moves back out to drive him. Harry feels the awkwardness in the atmosphere, the tension thick enough to cut it with a knife. He switches the radio on and an Ed Sheeran song comes up. He hears Louis hum in the back; he hums too, their voices combining to form a perfect melody. He smiles when his eye catches Louis glancing out the window. He was attempting to roll them down so that the air could brush his face. Harry rolls them down for him. It startles Louis when the windows go down, he looks at Harry and gives him a shy smile. Harry accepts it and smiles back then looks away and concentrates on the song and the road.

 

Many times, life is a metaphor. It can mean many things. There are two sides to a story. There are two types of sides. And every person’s perception of these sides is also different. But somehow everything fits in. Even the absurdist nonsensical thing. Metaphors work like that. They are the indirect comparison between two things. But what way your mind percepts it is different. ‘Life is a journey.’ This simple thing can be a topic for dispute between reputed debaters. Only because of the fact that both people have different views.

 

Harry thinks tonight is a metaphor. Louis would beg to differ.

  
Harry would say that he meeting Louis could be a one in a million chance. Louis would say Harry was a fan who helped him out. None of them is wrong, both the stories are true, and yet there is a paper cut’s difference between the two.

  
To Harry, Louis is a star, the man of his dreams.

  
To Louis, Harry is that random taxi-driver who drove the leeching paps away.

  


Stop. Repeat.

  


To Harry, Louis is the superstar he will never meet again.

  
To Louis, Harry is the kind-eyed stranger who played saviour. Yet he doesn’t have enough courage to thank the man in a grand manner.

  
Sometimes, metaphors are hard to understand. But they mean the same thing, don’t they?

 

Harry still hadn’t made an attempt to know what the colour of Louis’ aura was. This unknowingness was killing him within. All he had to do was look behind Louis and summon the power. But he was afraid that if he knew his colour all the enigma surrounding the man would dissolve. And have all his true colours, mind the pun, revealed.

 

“Take a right, mate.” Louis’ voice startles him; he nods and does as asked. Louis hums before saying, “Another left here and leave me at that gate.” Harry hums an affirmation and takes swift turns. He makes a smooth stop in front of the gates of the mansion. The porch lights and the garden lights were on, and far off he could see Liam walking Bruno and Watson. He gets out of the car and beams at Harry.

 

“How much was this?” Louis asks with a smile on his face.

 

“Nothing. Think of it as a token of my appreciation.” Harry says as he shuts off the front lights and moves to change the gear so that he could back up.

 

“Wait, don’t go!” Louis exclaims and Harry stops immediately.

  
“Take my business card. Call me the next time you need a ride around the city.” Harry says as he hands him the card.

  
“Thanks, Harry. Thank you very much. I don’t know what could have happened today, and I would much rather not think about, but without you, I wouldn’t be safe. I owe you Harry.” Louis says as he extends his hand for a handshake.

  
Harry looks at the small hand. Back at Louis. Back at the hand. And the does something he wouldn’t in his wildest dreams. He pulls Louis into a small hug. Harry then whispers, “I wanted to make sure this beauty stays protected, can’t lose the beauty now, can we?”

  
Louis snuggles into the cavity between Harry’s chest and his shoulder, “Thanks Harry. Thanks for caring enough.” Louis moves back, Harry's hand still on his back.

  
“See you around Superstar.” Harry says as he backs away. His fingers running through his messed up curls.

  
“See you around, Harry.” Louis keeps standing over there as Harry gets into the car and backs away. He waves till the headlights fade out of the neighbourhood. Then he sighs as he turns around to get in and a wave of sadness takes over him.

 

But the sudden realization of a secure hug from a near stranger made him warm all over, “AAAAHHHHH!” He freaked out.

 

“Louis?” He heard Liam call him over, “Louis is that you? Come in already.” And Louis shut his mouth but a million dollar smile adorned his lips. His face brightening up like the sun had a replacement. And you wouldn't even notice the faint blush that took over his features. If you weren't Liam who had no sense of personal space.

  
“Why are you blushing? Why were you screaming? Why are all your teeth on display? Did you get a job at the toothpaste commercial? Are those crinkles by your eyes? Is that a 2007 smile? Whose card is that in your hand? What is going on?” Liam blabbered on.

  
“What were you thinking? How many questions do you think up? And no I am not blushing, neither was there a reason for my screams. I am getting old; I have wrinkles next to my eyes. I did not get a toothpaste commercial for fucks sake. And what the hell do you mean by a 2007 smile?” Louis exclaims.

  
“Nothing, nothing at all.” Liam says as he smiles wide before whistling to get Bruno and Watson back inside.

  
“What’s for late dinner?” Louis asks, letting Liam’s smile pass.

  


  



	3. 3

_Is it another curse disguised as a blessing?_

“Do you want to go?” The man grinding on Louis said as he gripped Louis’ hips tighter, bruising them.

Louis is too drunk to answer. The man pulls him out of there anyway. He gets them onto his car and drives them back to his house and Louis sits there mumbling to himself.

“You are one of the cutest minxes I have seen around. What’s your name?” The man says as he looks at Louis. He screeches to a halt midway when he sees Louis drooling on his expensive leather seat.

“What the fuck? Get out. I said get the fuck out. Damn fag, you are disgusting.” He screams which awakens Louis and he grumbles before throwing up on his shoe.

That infuriates the man to another dimension and back. He gets out of the car. He throws open the other door and pulls Louis out by his armpits. He throws him on the empty intersection and curses him out. Then he kicks him a couple of times and then drives off after spitting on his face. Louis groans as he clutches his stomach and feels nauseous. He somehow picks himself up from the road as he sees a truck come his way.

He sits down on the curb, face swollen and lip bleeding. The smell of puke, alcohol, fake fog and sweat fills his nose as he pukes next to his feet again. He wipes his face with the back of his hand and a single line of saliva slips past his lips and drips down his shirt. He wanted water. He wanted his bed. He wanted to not feel this shitty again.

He sees many cars pass him by, the smoke they left behind choking him. He eyes the movement and the motion sickness gets him even more nauseous. He moans and groans as he lies down on the dirty curb. He closes his eyes.

Over an hour later, Louis wakes up again. But this time by the soft hand on his cheek. And his name on the blurry yet plush, red and beautiful lips of a person. The one who had bent down to see what was wrong with him. “Louis? Wake up. Goddamit, what is wrong with you? This is not how I wanted to find you again.”

“Do-don’t touch me.” Louis groaned when the person preyed on his semi-consciousness.

“Oh, so now you have something to tell me?” The man said as he picked Louis up bridal style, hand supporting his neck so that he doesn’t droop. “I fucking hate you, you know? You cost me a customer.”

“Are- are you a hook-“ hiccup “-Hooker?” Louis asks, eyes still not complying.

The man’s chest vibrated as he grumbled something along the lines of – “...help him off the streets and get called a hooker.... bloody superstar of the era.... thinks himself to be the ultimate guy.... gets drunk and pukes on himself....why do I like weird guys?”

“Hey, you are gay? I am not looking for a lay you know? Want a ride to my house. I will scream stranger-danger if you don’t put me down.” Louis says as he settles into a soft surface.

“Yeah, the lampposts are going to help you in your escape.” The man says as he gets in the front seat of his car.

“I swear to god, if you puke here, I am making you fucking pay for this bullshit. First Niall and now you, all the grown-ups have decided to make my life miserable today. Two customers. I gave up. Because first my best-friend gets piss-faced. And then this Mister thinks he is the King of the world, lying on the ground next to his own puke.” The guy driving mumbles. He drives towards familiar streets, Louis sees outside the car window.

But then it takes an unexpected turn and they are in the ‘poor’ section of the society. He feels more awake than earlier as he notices the brown seat covers and the head of curly hair, driving the car.

“Harry? Harry, is that you?” Louis asks as he tries to sit up but his hammering headache makes it difficult to do so.

“Oh, so now you have enough consciousness to recognize me? Go to sleep we are almost near my apartment.” Harry says, but the smile in his voice is evident.

Louis says nothing as he lets his head roll and lets the sleep catch up on him.

The next time his eyes open he is being wiped with a cold-wet cloth. And some spirit because his cut open wound hurts. He groans before Harry is shushing him back to sleep. He falls asleep to the lull of Harry’s soothing whispers.

~~~~~~

  
_I_ _don’t care what you have to say. Talking to you is like being stuck for eternity._

  
Louis wakes up to the soft rays of sun filtering into the room. The parted thick curtains, the clean and organized desk next to the window. And the white-board hanging on the wall above it. Louis notices. He has a splitting head-ache and a very shitty memory of what happened last night. He has that cotton stuffed in his mouth and shit taste in his mouth. He sees the bed, except for where he was sleeping, was cold and made, as if no one had laid there. Now that he gained consciousness, he noticed that there is a bottle of water and two aspirins for him to take. He immediately does that and notices the white-board had a message for him.

‘Use my brush. Brekkie in the oven. Milk is in the fridge. Got lemon. Honey. Jasmine. Chamomile. Lavender. Earl grey. Green Tea. Assam black and Darjeeling tea packs. Stick around till 12. Drink loads of water. T.V. has Netflix. MTV works too. Your clothes are on the clothesline outside.

Love,

The hooker who brought you home last night. xxx’

  
Louis jolted with shock at the sign at the end. A hooker brought him home? What the fuck did he do last night? He remembers going to the club, and remembers drinking so much he forgot his name. He remembers someone throwing him out and punching him in the face and kicking him in the gut. He remembers puking and then lying down on the curb. He remembers someone picking him up and putting him in a car at arse o’ clock. He looks at his clothes and gets startled at the too big hoodie and rolled up sweatpants. He remembers the message on the board. He touches his lip by accident and feels how painful it is.

 

Louis gets up from the bed and makes his way out of the door. He sees that the apartment is neat and clean. He sees a TV. on the wall, it was a Sony, 42” screen and the latest Wii remotes still attached to it. He sees the window across the TV. and notices how far away from his house he was. He was on the seventh floor of a building and the balcony attached to the open window opened out into a big terrace. The sun was high up in the sky and there were clothes drying on a clothes line, menswear. So he didn’t get rescued by a woman.

The wind chime on the curtain rod clinked as a quick breeze swept through the apartment. He sees the kitchen on his left and goes in; it was small but very modern and aesthetic. How was a kitchen so pleasing to the eye? The pans were hanging by hooks under the cabinets. And there was a small light under them that lit up the cooking area only. There were glass containers filled with different types of ingredients. He couldn’t name more than five. There was a small breakfast bar like setting. Four different kinds of stools adorning them. It suited the house’s quirky nature. Rolled and tied napkins sat in a transparent glass holder. Next to it sat the salt, pepper and sugar bottles. Forks, knives and spoons stood in another empty glass jar. It looked a lot like an empty pickle jar.

There was a brick wall above the sink. The under-side held a modular trolley system. It seemed expensive but the rattling made it more suitable. He was in awe with the fridge and microwave. And the obvious nutri-bullet that lay on the other side of the kitchen, under the window. It looked way too organized. He saw the fry-up lying next to toasted bread in the oven. It was shocking, how much this kind stranger had done for him. He went back to the hall room. He saw the corridors and most of the living room covered in small and large frames of all kinds littering the wall. He could see who the person in the photos was. In some there was a blond guy with brown roots showing. And in others there was a guy with curly hair. Their face was hiding behind too large hands with too many rings. A simple cross tattoo sat across his thumb-joint and his wrist.

He looked around till he found a picture next to the couch that held Harry’s face. Harry, oh yeah! He had brought him here and cleaned him up. He looked at himself and realized he had called Harry, no asked Harry if he was a hooker. He had gotten miserable grumbling in return. He remembers how Harry woke him up by a soft touch to his cheek and a soft call of his name. He remembers Harry picking him up with utmost care. And he remembers Harry placing him in the back of his car with a stern warning. He smiles but the shit-taste in his mouth reminds him to brush.

So he does. He brushes and showers. And then puts on Harry’s clothes again. He heats and has his breakfast. He drinks loads of water before heating water to brew himself a tea. He sees it was almost 11:30 and decides to check where his phone and wallet were. He finds them next to the bed he was sleeping on earlier. He finds a missed call from an unknown number. He also finds five missed calls from Liam at various moments in the night. Which were immediately followed by a couple of texts.

‘R U fucken alive, m8? And ‘Imma whoop ur ass if & when ye get home.’ Aah, classic Liam.

So Louis decides to call him. “Hey, Lima! It’s your favourite best-friend.”

“More like go to hell, bitch and try not to die on your way so that I can kill you the moment you fucking step inside this house.” Liam mutters, anger evident in his voice.

“Sorry. I am at someone’s place. But they are outside and asked me to stay around till 12, and I could come back later. Don’t worry about me; I didn’t do anything I would regret. I was safe throughout the night. And I definitely had a great adventure last night, will tell you once I get back. Have a nice rest of the day. Stop over-worrying about me, nothing bad will happen to me.” Louis explained.

“And I am supposed to believe that nothing bad will happen to you? Louis....” Liam murmurs. “Anyways, get back super-fast. Miss you, troublemaker.”

“Love you, Lima.” Louis says in time to hear the apartment door opening. He hangs up and looks up to see the blond from the picture walk in through the door. He had headphones on and had a small limp as he walked right past Louis on the couch. Outside, on the balcony he pulled his headphones out. Then he looked around to see if somebody had watered his plants.. Happy with his inspection he came back outside, saw Louis, and said, “Hey!” Then walked towards the room Louis didn’t go into. But he immediately came back outside and loudly shrieked, “Aaahhhh!!! Louis Tomlinson? What. The. Actual. Motherfuck?”

“Um, hi buddy. How are you? Harry brought me home last night and asked me to stick around till noon. Is he like on his way or something?” Louis asked as he pulled the sleeves up to shake his hand.

“Uh, um, you-you are Louis, Louis Tomlinson. Oh shit! I am going to pass out, man. I am Niall. I am going to kill Harry! He is- he is coming upstairs I am guessing, he was parking his car, so I came up to check if he watered the plants this morning. And...” The door opens cutting Niall off.

“What happened, why were you screaming? I heard you from the fourth floor; I was inside the damn elevator, Niall! Oh good afternoon, Louis.” Harry says as he steps in, his bag pack on his back.

“How dare you bring Louis Tomlinson to our flat and hide it from me?” Niall blurts out.

“Yes, tell him Harry, why you didn’t mention bringing me home last night? You are going to be the father of my children. And you don’t happen to tell your room-mate, did I mention, whose existence I didn’t even know of.” Louis exaggerates.

Harry looked bewildered stuck between these two. Niall didn’t see any reason, and Louis egged him on. He looked like a deer caught in headlights as they kept throwing accusations at his face. He looked crazy, frantic standing on the doorway with his heavy bag-pack and brown paper bags in hand.

“You-you are pregnant? Harry! How dare you have illicit relations with someone as famous as Louis Tomlinson and not tell me? And now are to father a child growing inside this person!” Niall said eyes wild.

“Yes, tell Niall why I am two months pregnant with a child that holds half your genes. Tell him why you hid me like I was your dirty little secret. I left all my life behind to lay with you and you did this to us. You promised us Harry, promised me and little bee that you would always put us before everything else. Tell me why you have kept us hidden from everyone.” Louis says as his chest heaves as if he was about to sob.

“What have you done, Harry? How long has this been going on? How come I didn’t know about this?” Niall asks as he looks more betrayed than angry.

Before Harry could say something though, Louis said in a very choked up bleary sound, “Haz, help.” And then he collapsed on the ground.

“Louis!” “Lou!” Niall and Harry both scream as they rush to his aid and see him looking up with tears in his eyes. “I love you, Haz.” Louis whispered as he closed his eyes, a single tear rolling down his left eye as his head lolled back.

“Call an ambulance you absolute dimwit!” Niall shrieked as he had tears blurring his vision.

“Yeah, yeah I am calling.” Harry rushed out as he kept looking at Louis’ face. He didn’t realize how some playful bickering had turned into this. But the peaceful look on Louis’ face and the tears in Niall’s was too much for him.

He lunged forward to hug Louis closer and rub his back. He breathes in Louis’ essence as he hides his face in the crook of his neck. “Please wake up, I am sorry, I don’t know for what, but I am very sorry, Love.”

“I forgive you.” He hears Louis whisper.

Harry lets his limp form go as he saw Niall look on with wide eyes. And then a moment later, Louis smiled wide and opened his eyes to reveal his turquoise oceans. “Lads that is how you do Improv 101.” Louis gets up and takes a bow and closes his eyes as he hears Niall gasp out a string of curses and loud claps following.

“Thank you, thank you!” Louis says enthusiastically.

“Obviously you aren’t pregnant. You are a man. Niall you idiot.” Niall mutters to himself.

“Louis. You had me worried there for a moment.” Harry whispers, a defeated look on his face. It breaks Louis’ heart on the broken look that spread across Harry’s face. Niall’s excited fanboying ignored by both of them as they kept looking at each other. Louis’ smile fell as he leaned forward to reach Harry.

“Har...” His words get caught in his throat as Harry turns around to leave.

Louis still follows him and puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him. Harry turns around, head bent, not meeting Louis’ eyes.

“I am sorry. I know I took it a notch too much....”

“Gotcha, loser!” Harry screams, very giggly.

Louis looks with bewilderment as Harry laughs wholeheartedly.

“You tricked me!” Louis says as he attacks Harry with small smacks to his chest and hands.

“You are not the only one who can act.” Harry says as he takes Louis’ hand in his.

“I got so worried. I thought I took it too far.” Louis says as he laughs at their antics.

“I am not the least bit sorry. This was fun.” Harry says as he drags Louis over to the couch and next to Niall who looked so dejected.

“You tricksters, I am still not over the fact that you two already know each other. Like mate, is he the guy who paid 500 pounds the other day?” Niall asks, blinking up at Harry.

“Um, yes?” Harry says, but it sounds a lot like a question.

“Funny, I would think I would have already been notified of such behaviour. I am really sad and upset with you Harry.” Niall says with a dramatic flair.

“I am sorry, Nialler.” Harry apologizes, rolling his eyes behind Niall’s back.

“Hey, hey, mister, don’t sound too guilty now.” Niall snickers.

“Anyways, now that you two have met. Louis, Niall. Niall, Louis.” Harry says with a gesture of hands.

“You two talk, I am going to get started on my designing. Busy, busy, busy. Great meeting my idol in our living room. Thanks for the ride, Harry. Now, bye.” Niall says as he gets up from the sofa and walks out without another glance at them.

“Is he always like this?” Louis asks once Niall has left the room.

“Yes. Every time somebody other than him talks to me, he gets upset like this. He is insecure he will lose his spot as best-best friend.” Harry sighs.

“Oh! Understandable, I would too if you were my best-best friend.” Louis says with a glance at Harry who was already looking at him with soft eyes.

“Do you care to tell me, what happened with you last night? why the hell did I find you curled up on the curb at sixth and tenth with blood and vomit on your clothes. Your stomach was bruised up and so was your lip. I basically gave you a sponge bath because I didn’t want you to wake up feeling disgusting. But washing your hair would be a trouble so I let it be. By the way how is your lip? Did you have breakfast? Did you not find your own...” Harry asked away, shooting question after another.

“Yes mother. Thanks for everything, Harry. Stop worrying. I didn’t expect anyone to help me, let alone do so much for me. I expected to wake up in the morning, a cop hovering over me, and a one way to prison. Grand publicity that would have gotten me, ‘Too much to drink, we think. Louis Tomlinson found on a curb outside a well-known club, drunk, stinking of booze, spit and vomit. Alcoholism catching up to the star.’” Louis says with a scrunch of his nose and a roll of his eyes.

“Hey, it’s alright. I just want to know what happened last night? Like I know it’s not my place, but you looked so vulnerable, bleeding and passed out on the curb. I was so worried.” Harry says, sadness creeping upon him.

“Haz... I am so sorry. I have a faint recollection of what happened. I guess I just had a bad day at work, you know we are shooting Fraternity season 3. And settling in with the new cast is being a lot more stressful than before. It’s like the new cast loves to bully me, sort of. Taking away my cigs, or hiding my phone. Or changing my soy milk for chocolate whole. And it’s catching up on me. So I went out and bought myself a drink last night. and one turned to ten and ten turned to dancing drunkenly. It was a gay bar so I think someone tried to take me home. I guess when I felt extremely nauseous in their car, they threw me out, kicked me, hit me on the face.” Louis cringes and his whole body shivers at that. “Anyways, the intersection was empty and so they threw me out, I guess. I had a little consciousness at this point. So I saw a truck speeding towards me. I rolled myself off to the side of the road and picked myself up on the curb. I sat up before puking again and then naturally collapsing. About an hour or some later, you picked me up and I happened to call you a hooker. I am so sorry about that.”

“Louis...” Harry’s voice is choked up and so small that he is afraid Louis even heard him.

But Louis heard him and so he looked up at Harry and saw the tears pooling in his eyes. “Haz, don’t feel bad for me. This happens more often than not. I am fine with this.”

“Are you fucking stupid? If this happens quite often than quit letting it happen. I know it’s difficult to maintain self-respect after being in this bloody industry for so long. But believe me, this world just wants to see you burn. I swear to god, how many times have you laid on the curb, puking your guts out and not a single person to help you?” Harry says, tears seeping out of the corners of his eyes. His face scrunches up as he breaks into a sob.

“Harry...” Louis begins his voice merely a whisper.

“No, no. I am not going to listen to you making up excuses for treating yourself so poorly. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” Harry shouts, suddenly.

“Why are you so worried about me? No one cares Harry. I don’t care.” Louis says.

“Do you believe that? No one cares about you? Not even the best friend waiting for you to come back. Or perhaps your mother.” At Harry’s words Louis freezes up.

“Don’t. Never mention her again. Thanks for everything, Harry. I will be leaving. See you soon.” Louis says as he leaves with his cell and wallet. His clothes still drying on the clothesline.

Harry fish mouths as he sees Louis leave, angry tears staining his face. He had hoped t talk it out with Louis, maybe make a friend out of him. But now he is more worried of this man whose mental state these days has become a lot unstable.

For now all he can do is wipe his tears away. He starts on lunch and homework before he is leaving again. Another night of driving people around and keeping an eye out for Louis.

  


 


	4. 4

_Set_ _me afire or set me free. Kill me with weapons or kill me within._

  
“And what are we doing tonight?” Liam asks a quirk to his smile.

“Going to a club, have not more than 2 drinks and have fun. That is all.” Louis says, smiling up at Liam.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Alright.”

Louis dragged Zayn and Liam to the club two weeks after his last encounter with Harry. He promised himself, in Harry’s name that he would give up his old ways. At least try to. It had been going marvellously till Andrew Smith stepped in. His co-star decided it would be a good thing to touch Louis’ bum and keep stroking his hand down Louis pants. Basically just sexually exploit him. Even if it was just for the scene they were doing. There were limits to everything.

Louis being Louis had said nothing as the scene had ended. Only acting mildly disgusted. Pretending he wasn’t about to claw the back of his throat out vomiting all he had eaten. He didn’t have an eating disorder. But every time someone touched him, he got sick. It wasn’t a choice.

“Hey, wanna go?” The guy dancing on Louis asked.

“Sure.” Louis said, still too sober to have done this. But the co-ordination between his mouth and brain had been destructed.

He doesn’t remember asking the lad his name. He looked young, square face, light blue eyes. He was wearing a football varsity jersey. And if possible he had the most typical Fuck-boy attitude ever. He pulled Louis out of there, without realizing who he was. He drove an Audi A4 silver. It was one of the first cars Louis had bought once he was legal enough to drive in the US.

“Bet you never seen a car like this, before.” The lad says, not looking at Louis’ face.

“Absolutely.” Louis muttered, trying to sound excited.

They awfully soon reach an apartment building. The guy parks before leading Louis up the elevator. He opens the door and pulls Louis in. Only now looking properly at his face. “Louis Tomlinson?” The lad says, afraid and nervous.

“Uh, yes?” Louis says absent-mindedly. His fingers playing with his fringe.

“Wow, I pulled Louis Tomlinson.” The lad whispers in awe.

“Do you have water? Or yoghurt?” Louis asks.

“Kitchen. Here let me take your coat.” The guy says and Louis just shrugs it off and walks into the kitchen. It was clean and there was a bottle of red wine on the shelf. So instead of water or yoghurt he nicked the red wine and started drinking directly from the bottle.

“The yoghurt’s in the- Oh, red wine it is? Setting the mood are we?” The lad asked.

“Listen, I promised someone or more like I swore by someone that I would stop treating myself like shit. So I am way too sober to like have sex with you. Let alone actually set a mood. If I was piss drunk I would be on my knees. Now that wouldn’t be a good way to try to act out on the promise. So tell me laddy, what’s your name?”

“I am Luke. I don’t feel up to it either way. Maybe we could just chat and have some snacks. Or do you wanna play FIFA?” Luke says.

“Good lad. I could have a sodding good chance of judgement there. I thought you were going to kick me out. Turns out you are more than your jersey shows. Set it up. And litter the room with popcorn and snacks. You got sour patches? Gummies? Candy?” Louis asks, a grin showing his canines as they peek out.

“Yeah. I am sorry, if I seemed outright rude. Just my ex always taught me this was how gay men pull. I didn’t realize just how fucked up it was till I had you in my doorway. I was damn sure you were going to slap me in the car.” Luke apologizes.

“Your ex?” Louis asks as he sips from the bottle again.

“Yeah, it’s his jersey I am wearing.” Luke says as he walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. He sets up the gaming station and puts blankets and pillows on the ground. He makes three bowls full of popcorn and gets out cans of Dr. Peppers and Redbull. He brings out his precious candy and throws it on the blanket.

Louis takes a seat and pats his hand on the ground next to him to gesture Luke to sit down. Another bottle of wine rolled in for him, Luke handed him a glass to drink this time. He even gets him a bowl of blueberry yoghurt.

“So tell me all about this ex of yours. Sounds like a douche, this guy.”

“Innit true, man.” Luke sighs as he breaks into the Dr. Pepper. Simultaneously shoving handfuls of popcorn in his face.

This went on till 3AM till Luke decided he was too tired and worn out to lose any more. Louis beat him time over time, FIFA being his favourite game.

“Goodnight Luke. You are a good man and your boyfriend probs didn’t deserve you. Hope someday you actually become a dentist. I will tell all my celebrity friends to come try you out then. Have a good one, mate.”

“Good life Louis Tomlinson! Looking forward to Fraternity 3, I hate Andrew, if that makes a difference.”

“It means the world. Thanks, bye.” Louis says as he closes the door behind himself.

He imagines how he would go home now. It was almost 3:30 in the night. And then he realizes that he can call the cabbie whose card is still stuck in his wallet.

“Hey, Mr. Styles, its Louis Tomlinson, wanna pick me up? I am sober and have loads of self-respect or at least it’s on the way to building. I am at St. John’s, standing next to the signal.” Louis says, trying to sound cheeky.

“On my way, Mr. Tomlinson.” Is all he hears from the other side before he is standing alone on the curb. Silence filling the air around him, enveloping him. The wind blowing freezes his bones. But the thought of being enclosed in the same space with Harry freezes him completely.

After their little fight the other day, Louis had felt very bad and upset. Not about himself, but about bursting on Harry. He was just trying to help him. Had succeeded in doing so earlier that night. Louis didn’t even think about the possibility that Harry wasted his proper hours of sleep. He was a wanker with extremely low self-respect, but that didn't mean other people didn't care.

A honk startles him in the silent street. “Get in.” Harry’s voice says.

“Thanks for coming Harry.” Louis says as he gets in the front seat.

“’s my job, innit?” Harry says off-handedly.

“I am sorry, for that day. I was plain rude. I should have thanked you but instead I just made you feel bad for helping me. Please forgive me, Harry.”Louis pleads.

“Sorry? Listen, I think I crossed a line there, the other day. Like I know you are a celeb and I am just a cabbie, it’s reasonable. You not wanting to talk to me about personal stuff. And I know family is a bit of a triggering subject for you. I shouldn’t have brought it up. You can stop pretending like we are friends, Louis Tomlinson.”

Louis was flabbergasted with this bit of information. “Hey, I am sorry. But I really want to be friends with you. I am, like, not pretending to be friends with you. I actually want to be friends with you. I genuinely like you, because unlike other people, you are very selfless and you have saved me twice now.”

“That’s gratitude speaking Louis; don’t mistaken it for you liking me enough to be my friend.” Harry interrupts Louis as he drives towards Louis’ house.

“I wasn’t completed you know. Sometimes let people complete their thoughts. I was going to say that I really like you because you could have used me that night you found me. But you didn’t. Instead you gave me a sponge bath, let me sleep in your bed and then made me brekkie in the morning. And you have my favourite tea at yours. Also, I left all my clothes at yours. I ran away with your clothes, hey, I am wearing you hoodie right now. See I actually like you because no one, ever, does something like this for strangers. You could have contacted a pap and given them a field trip, but you saved me from them once. There is more than just gratitude here Haz.” Louis says.

“I have no reason to believe you, you know that right?” Harry challenges.

“I do, I do. Give me a chance. Am I not worthy of your friendship?” Louis suggests.

“I never said that. It’s just...” Harry drawls out. Seemingly out of excuses, he was never a good liar anyways.

“You have nothing, that’s what I thought. Look Harry, all I want is a friend. And I know I want you as my friend. Do you accept this friendship, Harry?” Louis asks shifting to look Harry in the eye.

Harry comes to a smooth stop and Louis looks outside to see that they have stopped in front of his house. “I’ll think about it.” Comes Harry’s reply. He looks down towards the meter to pay, but finds it shut off.

He places a 100 pound note on the dash and mutters a goodnight. He sees Harry drive off without another glance towards him.

He isn’t hurt. He convinces himself.

“I am not sad about this.”

“No, I am not going to cry if he rejects my plea.”

“No, I am not heartbroken over friendship.”

‘Why do I lie?’ is his last thought.

  


~~~~~~

  
_My heart speeds up, you slow it down, can you see what you have done?_

  
“I am going on a grocery run. I have the list and that place down on George’s and across Albert’s must be empty now. See ya later, Liam.” Louis says as he walks outside and decides against a car and walks himself to the store.

At the store he finds everything easily and gathers it up quickly. He was right; the place was practically empty, except for the staff. He sees himself out and towards the payment counter. His eyes bulge out when he sees who was standing there. Lime green T-shirt on, hair in a bun and an ugly, black name tag on his chest that read ‘S. Harry.’

“Are you stalking me, Louis?”Comes a question to his stare.

“No, this is where Liam shops at. He hates the other stores because they don’t sell as many organic products or something along the lines.”

“Well, yeah. We only sell organic stuff, except for certain standard commodities that everybody sells.” Harry says, biting his lip as Louis looks him up and down.

“Are there any other places you work?” Louis asks.

“I volunteer at the pet store across Kensington.” Harry shrugs as he says.

“And what else do you do?” Louis asks, curiously.

“I go to University of London, majors in Psychology and Sociology.” Harry says with a sigh.

Before Louis could say anything, the buzzer above rings indicating closing time.

“Let’s talk later, I am about to leave. Let me ring you up first.” So he does, under constant gaze of Louis Tomlinson.

It wasn’t threatening or angry, just curious and extreme respect for this person.

“Let’s get going, how about you wait for me outside, near my cab and I will change before I drive us away.” Harry says as he hands Louis his stuff and ushers him outside.

Louis nods and walks outside, the bag of grocery in his arms. He thinks now and suddenly gets extremely curious about Harry. He was a student. He drove a cab. He also worked as a cashier at an organic grocery store. And there were still a lot of secrets to know about Harry Styles.

“Hey!” He hears an Irish lilt to the voice and realizes it is Niall, the blond roommate.

“Hi, Niall. How are you doing?” Louis asks, trying to make small talk.

“I am good. How are you? Is that Harry’s hoodie? Yes, that’s a Packers hoodie and it’s too big. Haz’s.” Niall deducts.

“Just curious, what are you doing here?” Louis asks, diverting the topic.

“I work here, at the Deli inside. I thought I saw you pass by my side. An Organic or vegan sandwich, if you favour them, one stop is Alistair’s deli.” Niall says.

“Hi, sorry, I got caught up a little.” Harry says as he runs towards them.

“Nah, ‘s alright mate. Just found Louis, here. Seems like we are going to cross paths many times. See you soon, Tomlinson.” Niall says as he takes off, beanie swinging loosely, his small limp always noticeable.

“Why is he walking?” Louis asks.

“Because our flat is a five minute walk from here. He will manage. Let’s get you home.” Harry says, asking Louis to get in.

“You know, you should stop paying me. I owe you at least ten more free trips or more not less.” Harry says as he picks at the radio so that the car is filled with music not static.

“Well, I pay for everything. Especially, a cab ride when both the times you acted as a saviour. So stop complaining.” Louis says, rolling his eyes.

“I need to talk to you, Louis.” Harry says as he takes a turn towards Louis’ house.

“Well, are you free tonight?” Louis asks.

“Yes. I am going to drop you off at your door so you can put those away and get back in the cab. How does that sound?” Harry requests.

“Got it, boss.” Louis says as Harry comes to a halt.

Louis runs in, puts the groceries on the doorstep, rings the bell and runs away. He makes it to the car in time for Liam to open the door. “Let’s go.” Louis pants as he settles into the Honda Sedan.

“You are my only customer tonight. Tell me where do you want to go?” Harry asks with a glint of mischief and doubt.

“How about we go to the nearest pier you can think of?” Louis suggests.

“Westminster millennium piers it is. Let’s go.” Harry murmurs. To think he was going to  drive them over to one place, just to have a chat about, ‘Oh hey, I am dying to see your  aura’s colour. Mind if I have a look?’ Let’s say, Harry was nervous.

“Harry, about the other day... I am still really sorry. I know I burst out of nowhere. And I did mean when I said I was more than just grateful, I want to be your friend. I have so much respect for you, and all these things that you do. Who would have known that I would find a cabbage in a person? There are so many layers to you and I want to know each one of them. Memorize them. Find something to love about it. Because with you, I am just so intrigued. I get blown away, and I don’t know 1 percent of who you are. Please do me the honour of being your friend.” Louis pleads.

“Louis...” Harry breathes out. “Wow, well, uh, I didn’t know you felt this way. Like I am really not all that great. But yes, I want to be your friend. But there are things you should know before we go ahead with this.” Harry says, mildly impressed, heavily scared.

“I would wait a million years to get into your brain.” Louis sighs, staring deeply into Harry’s eyes.

“You are very persuasive. It won’t take a million years. Just some milliseconds.” Harry laughs airily.

Harry parks and goes around, opening the door for Louis to get out. They both walk shoulder to shoulder, sometimes mischievously bumping into each other. Harry pulls Louis to sit down next to him on a cold stone bench overlooking the pier and the bridge. The water flows calmly beneath the bridge. The cold breeze blowing their hair into their faces. Goosebumps rise on their skin. They huddle together to share their body warmth. Mostly Harry giving and Louis stealing.

Their eyes scan around and there on the empty roads, there is a couple, tourists, kissing under a brightly lit Christmas tree. Their multi-coloured shadows glowing. Giggling over the cold and smoke leaving their mouths. On the other side there is a small group of middle aged men, huddled around a small fire burning in a trashcan. Small voices wander away in the air as they speak. The noises from the far off traffic and a distant melody that sounds a lot like Christmas music. A man dressed as Santa stands on the curb across them, the light from the toy-store the only means of light for him to keep singing and shake the small bell in his hand as the people walking by throw in some loose cents in the bucket that stood next to him. There is someone smoking and speaking on the phone in a very far off corner, almost next to the Aquarium.

Then Harry shuffles closer to Louis and bumps his thigh. Louis looks back and smiles before bumping against his thigh. “So what did you want to talk about?” Louis asks, nervous.

“This might sound a little, no- a lot crazy- but please, believe me.” Harry says, biting on his bottom lip. The night’s cold creeping up on him.

“You are not going to scare me away, Haz. You can talk to me, I will listen to everything. That’s what trying means. You can tell me you eat battery acid and yet, I won’t let go.” Louis says, somewhat serious.

“You are not making it easier. But here goes nothing. So, you might have heard about people who are born with certain abilities that they realize as they reach the age of 13, sometimes earlier, sometimes later.”

“Yes, I have. My best mate’s boyfriend, Zayn. He can disappear into thin air. Invisibility. Others have many more different powers.” Louis nods understanding.

“Yeah, just like that. It runs in my family, the whole power thing. So my mum could control fire. My step-father could control earth. And then there was my sister, who could control vegetation, trees. I, well, I can see auras. It’s supposedly one of the rarest gifts. So since I was 13, I learned how to control my power. Controlling auras, compelling them, bending them, changing them, healing them and I learnt how to diagnose and read them very early. So like people seeked me out once the gifted learnt that a seer was born, me. I can tell you what will happen to the people around you based on your aura and I can change it. Not like I can change fate, more like bend it. But every time I changed somebody’s fate, let’s say, it wasn’t easy.

“I would have used up too much of my power and that itself would take too long to heal. Let alone there being a guarantee that what I did would work out.” Harry said.

“You said could when telling about your family. They can’t do it any longer?” Louis asks, still comprehending all this.

“They are no more, Louis. My family died. Because I changed the fate of somebody whose fate I shouldn’t have.” Harry whispers, broken.

“I am sorry.” Louis whispers.

“Well, what’s done is done. Crying over it can’t undo it now.” Harry says, a small wisp of smoke passes his lips.

“How old were you?” Louis asks as his hand moves to hold Harry’s.

“I was 19. My step-father always wanted me to be careful about what or who I was helping. It just so happened that while I went to Uni in Manchester, I found this guy. Dark, brooding, mysterious, the entire package you know. And his aura, you see was always ashy grey. Like smoke from an industrial chimney, like something was always burning. And according to my studies, a grey aura meant depression and heavy sadness revolving around the person.

“So I made friends with him and sought to help him. I can be quiet persuasive, let me tell you. So I tell him about my powers and even read his aura and find out how the people around him were in constant danger. He begged me to help him and I did. I wasted 7 months, 13 days and 9 hours to change what fate designed. His aura changed into a regular yellow and all his life changed.

“I shared a dorm room with Niall at that time and so he knew this. Then that unfortunate day happened. I got a call from my parents’ neighbours. Apparently, a mentally disturbed murderer had killed my family while they were on a night stroll. Can you guess who that man was?” Harry looks manic.

“Was it the guy you healed, Haz?” Louis asks in a small voice.

“Yes. Yes, god, how foolish could I get? I helped the man who was to kill my family and didn’t even realize. My readings were right, that people around him were in constant danger. I was in constant danger. And somehow it moved on to my family. This is why you don’t play around with fate. I lost my family to my gifts. While it took almost entirety of my body powers to help this guy, he took everything from me. And-and you know what the funniest part is?” Harry asks, the manic look growing wilder. A sinister smile on his face. “I loved him. I loved him so much. Because while it wasn’t easy helping him, it was easy to fall into a soothing circle of  lies. He would thank me, always appreciate what I did for him. He took care of me like no one before. And I was so stupid to look any more than what illusion he spun.

“I gave him everything a person can give another and he stole it.” Harry finishes.

“But don’t worry. I got justice. He was hung to death and I, I got a compensation for a broken heart and a dead family. One million pounds. Have I touched the money? No. What did I do with it? Gave it to Comic Relief, Royal Fund, to an orphanage in Manchester, and with what was left I bought myself the car. So that is me.” Harry said, a small smile on his pink bitten lips.

Louis stayed frozen. The night’s chilliness and the story Harry just told him freezing him to his bones. How was such a beautiful person living a morbid life?

“I don’t know what to say. All I can say is that we learn from our mistakes. No matter how grave they were. Everyone has a past they are not proud of and you should not let it define you. As for your gift. Its beauty causes havoc within peace. I think it is a metaphor.” Louis says.

“A metaphor, how?”

“It’s beautiful. But it’s dangerous. Like you. You are beautiful. But you have the power to make or break a person. Like if I handed you my heart, most probably not hypothetically, you have the power to break me. Now you make a choice. Break me. Or make me.” Louis explains, leaning to grasp both of Harry’s hand in his. Harry willingly gives him his hand and lets him hold it, smiling softly.

“Can I ask you a favour?” Harry asks.

“Sure.” Louis answers without a second thought.

“Can I see your aura?” Harry asks.

“I thought you already saw?” Louis asks, confused.

“I didn’t because it is an invasion of privacy. I can control my powers. Meaning if I want my vision I can summon it up if not, then I am as normal as most.” Harry explains.

“Then yes, sure.” Louis answers.

Harry smiles gratefully and closes his eyes. Summoning his vision, he opens his eyes, still looking at Louis’ feet. He slowly raises his line of vision and gasps out loud. He pushes Louis’ hand away and looks in awe and shock.

“What is it?” Louis asks, scared.

“It-it’s a rainbow. This is very rare. This phenomenon happens once in a century. Out of the millions of people inhabiting the world. I happened to sit across a man with a rainbow aura and actually make an acquaintance out of him. Louis. This might sound scary. But usually people have one colour in their aura, at the most two. You, happen to have seven. And they are even aligned in proper bands. You have a great control over your soul, Louis. But there is evil lurking there because between each band there is a faint outline of hazy grey. Like early morning smog or the sky on a rainy day. Not too dark though. It’s like overcast over a sunny day. There’s a shadow behind your face. Someone hurt you too much. Or some _people.”_

_“Stop.”_ Louis said meekly.

Harry stops looking behind Louis and closes his eyes to regain regular vision. He looks at Louis’ eyes and they are wet, and red. He sniffles a little. Nose turning a bright red. His lips quiver and he just sits there looking betrayed. He meets Harry’s eyes and a heavy sob leaves his mouth.

“Shh. I am sorry. I just get curious sometimes. Didn’t mean to hurt you, Lou. Come ‘ere.” Harry says as he pulls Louis into his arms. Louis willingly goes, cuddling into Harry’s warm chest. He rests his chin on one of the pectorals. Harry rests his chin on his head. Nuzzling into his hair, sniffing him as he rubbed his hands up and down his back to warm him up. He pulls him in tighter as a cold breeze passes over them.

“There are lots of things I wanted to tell you, but I need time.” Louis whispers.

“I have all the time in the world.” Harry mutters, voice muffled in Louis’ hair.

Back in the car Harry drives them everywhere but back home. They sit in a park. Its past midnight and all they are wearing is some thick woollen and cotton hoodies and denims that make their legs shiver. They don’t have their cell phones in hand. They are laid down on the cold grass. Staring at each other, they are spilling secrets and stories no one else ever came to know. They laugh embarrassedly at their noses bumping when they shuffle in together and snuggle into each other.

They think the stars are people watching them and all they can do is watch. They sit in silence the wind howling above them and yet there is warmth burning in their chests from the laughter they brew in the other’s chest.

They think that the world is a lie and the only truth is each other.

And they are not in love.

 

 


	5. 5

_Take me to summer’s kingdom to mend my art. Love me like I lent you my heart._

_Love me like sky does blue. Love me like I do you._

It’s a week and three days before Louis’ birthday and he is as bored as one can be. He finished the final episode of Fraternity.  That was one less burden on his plate. But with Liz on his team it was nearly impossible to be work free. And so he was to start shooting for the newest Steven Spielberg film, ‘Ready Player One’. He was really excited when the scripts arrived. He went to the auditions and rocked it. So on January 15th, they were starting filming. He had till then to chill around. And apparently Liam is too busy these days to hang out with him.

So he was bored out of his mind. Eleven in the morning, breakfast done. His gym training done. A round of FIFA done. And he was lounging on the couch with nothing to do. So he does the next best thing.

He changes into something suitable for winter. Drives to University of London. Finds Harry’s psychology class. And with a short run to the side of the building he spots Harry sitting right on the first desk in the middle of the room.  He jumps around to catch his attention but he is too engrossed writing down notes to even notice the shorter man jumping around next to his class.

Louis tires himself with the constant jumping. So he gets an idea. The windows were open and the sun was shining. So he takes his phone and tilts it to an angle where the sun reflects and falls right on the curly-haired man’s face. Harry gets a bit distracted with the light shining on his face so looks towards the source of the nuisance and gasps as Louis comes into view. He smiles and waves at him when he catches Louis’ eyes. Silently giggling at his new friend’s antics, Harry stifles his laughs but his dimples give away his true joy.

Louis, over-enthusiastic as he is, shouts, “Hey! Harry!”

The entire class as well as the professor teaching turn towards the window and stare out to see Louis Tomlinson waving at a fellow student.

Like wildfire the gasps and small whispers burst into the room. Harry face palms. The professor looks with wide eyes at the celebrity jumping in through the window inside his class. The class sets on fire at that. Loud chatter and some airy screams and shouts going off. Harry looks up from between his fingers and sees as Louis goes around signing notebooks and t-shirts and clapping people on the back, or hugging them or shaking their hands as he moves over to Harry.

Harry and the professor sigh audibly. The professor looks at his watch and then says, “Guess I better be leaving. Happy Christmas and New Year.” He says as Harry blushes at the last glance his professor gives him, winking at him as he leaves.

“Great, now everybody will think we are dating. Good going Louis.”Harry groans as he quickly packs up. The classmates still gawking at Louis as he helps Harry and then takes his bag pack from him and holds his hand as he leads him out. As soon as they are out of sight, they hear the class erupt into screams.

“What? Let them think whatever. I have a special something to give you.” Louis says as he kisses Harry on the cheek as two girls who saw them walking out of the campus gawk over the fact that Louis Tomlinson is walking hand-in-hand with a guy from their Uni.

“That was absolutely unnecessary.” Harry groans.

“Well, no one will ever mess with you now.” Louis grins, smacking another wet slobbery kiss to his cheek.

“Ugh, why do I like you?” Harry says, feigning disgust.

“Because I give you nice kisses and hold your hand. And I am Louis Tomlinson. I am quite irresistible, Love.” Louis says.

“You are an airhead is what you are.” Harry snorts as Louis stops right in front of his black Porsche.

“You brought this to my college. Only purpose was to show off and disrupt my education.” Harry snickers.

“I saved you from your last class of the semester. You should thank me. But instead you are scolding me. Show me some love, Harold. Is this the way you treat your boyfriend who is pregnant with your child?” Louis says, feigning irritation.

“Well guess what, get an abortion. See if I care.” Harry sticks his tongue out childishly.

“Wish I was really pregnant. Then if you would have said that, I would have a valid reason to slap some sense into you.” Louis says as he pushes Harry against the door of his car.

Harry just leans back and then teases, “You dream a lot of this, don’t you? First things first, Mister. Take me too dinner, aren’t getting in my pants before you splurge on some champagne and dinner.” Harry says breathing hotly into Louis’ ear.

“Guess what. We have reservations at 7. La Trompette. I will pick you up at 6:15, tonight. Love you, darling.”Louis says as he smacks another kiss to his cheek and then gets into his car and drives off, hand outside the window, waving at Harry who stood looking berserk.

He gets into his own car and on his drive towards his flat he receives a message from Louis. Hoping it was a declaration that all of that was a joke, he picks up his phone at sits astounded when it read;

‘Please do be ready. I hadn’t made reservations, but now I did. It’s a date. Dress well. xxx.’

A honk from behind reminds him that the signal is green. He apologizes and swiftly drives off. He was very confused, but in a good way. Was this Louis’ way of saying he is interested in Harry? Guess all answers will be answered in the evening.

Harry reaches home and sees Niall sprawled on the couch with his headset in, the Wii attached to the TV.

“Happy holidays?” Harry says.

“No, I am determinedly not gay.” Niall says not hearing what Harry just said.

“You dumb oaf.”

“A bread loaf? What are you on about?” Niall says removing his headsets.

“It’s a waste of time. I am cooking lunch. Pasta, with red sauce and fried chicken?” Harry asks.

“I love you, Haz.” Is all Niall says as he goes back to his game.

Harry just shakes his head and goes ahead to clean up before cooking food.

At the lunch table, Harry glares at Niall as he shovels the food down like a madman.

“Can you please slow down? You are going to choke.” Harry says.

“But I am so hungry. And this is so good.” Niall whines.

“Then savour it.” Harry sweetly says.

‘Okay, what’s gotten your knickers in a twist?” Niall asks.

“Louis asked me out on a date and before that he created a big scene in between my lecture. Now the entire class thinks I am dating famous Mr. Tomlinson.” Harry shakes his head fondly as he says it.

“Well weren’t you already?  Thought it was national news. Didn’t you see the tabloids?” Niall asks curiously.

“What tabloids?” Harry asks as his fork stops halfway to his mouth.

Niall just looks it up on the internet and shoves his phone in Harry’s face.

‘Who is this fine young lad whose shoulder Louis Tomlinson seems to be hanging off of?’ And an entire article written about how Harry is the new hot target of the British Sweetheart.

“There’s a hundred more. But don’t you dare go on your instagram or twitter. You probably are being stalked. All I would suggest is make your accounts all private. And shut your dm off. Also, like talk to Louis about all this. I can’t believe how careless he has been with all this. It’s like he is just putting you out there without protection for the press to swallow you entirely. Also the article about you punching a couple of paps is out there for everyone to see, don’t know how everybody is not freaking about it already. I expected the last 15 days to have caused certain problems, but nothing. I am guessing they are waiting for you two to do something for them to show it outrageously.” Niall explains as he shovels food down his throat again.

Harry just looks at Niall, clearly impressed at his friend’s advice.

“You know I love you, right?” Harry asks, smiling.

“You make it known all the time. I believe you, ya’ know.” Niall says with a perfect smile.

As the evening closes in on the lads, Harry gets nervous about what to wear. Niall rolls his eyes and opens Harry’s wardrobe to find too many floral shirts and weird band tees. He sees three suits in the back, but they looked too formal. At last, Niall sighed and dragged Harry to his own room and removed a casual blazer that was checked pattern in a navy blue and dark brown. He asked Harry to wear his black shirt and black jeans with it. And dark brown leather shoes to go with it.

Harry sighed as Niall walked him out towards his own room and asked him to shower and dress up. Harry stood in the mirror, flicking his hair out of his face and making and remaking the small quiff he learnt how to do via YouTube. He applied chap-stick to his lips and then removed it because it looked glossy and then reapplied it so it looked a little less glossy.

Harry just stared in the mirror trying to understand what tonight was all about. At exactly 6:15, he heard the doorbell ring and the hushed voice of laughter buzz over to his room. Louis. Harry’s heart stopped. All that he thought he wanted to say stuck in his throat, the words dying on his tongue.

He walks out of his room and looks at Louis. His jaw opens wide at the sight in front of him. There, standing in the middle of the room was the most handsome man ever. He was wearing a black suit and a black turtleneck. All stubble gone making him look very young. He had recreated the 2014 BBC awards look and Harry wanted to squeal like a little girl. And in his hands was a bunch of violets. Harry’s favourite.

“Hi, love. You look very dashing.” Louis said as he rushed towards him to hug him and give him the flowers.

“Me, dashing? Did you even look at yourself? You look like 2014. I am going to go cry in my room like the Fanboy I am.” Harry says with a straight face.

‘Well, Niall here said just about the same thing. But I would very much love to take you to dinner. You can cry later, or not. Preferably not.” Louis jokes.

Harry smacks his arm as he goes to put away the flowers. He hears Niall ask, “What are your intentions with my lad?” Mimicking a very bad southern accent.

“To care for him and treat him like the prince he is. To cherish him. To nourish him. And allow him to take the reins of whatever shall bud here tonight.”Louis answers earnestly.

“All that is alright. But dare not keep him out later than 10. A moment later and there will be a shotgun bullet in your head.” Niall says seriously.

“Okay, we are leaving. Stop embarrassing me, Neil. Goodnight, I have my keys. Have fun. There is pasta in the fridge.”Harry says as he grabs Louis’ arm and pulls him out of the flat. HE hears Niall cackling wildly inside. Harry’s face burns redder as Louis laughs slowly linking their arms together and sneaking him off to his fairytale date.

The Limo parked in front of the building stuck out like a sore thumb in this run down part of town. People were leaning over their balconies and windows to see who it was. Louis paid them no heed and opened the door for Harry to get in before he got in himself.

“Champagne, love?”

“Er, no?”

“Sounded more of a question than an answer, Haz. Relax. It’s just me. It’s just us.” Louis says as he rubs small circles in Harry’s palm.

“Did you know there were already tabloids and articles being written about us? As in us as a couple.” Harry gets straight to the point.

“I might’ve known. But we already took care of that. First it was about you acting as my Superhero. Then there were more about the night we hung out at the piers. And then it became ridiculous. So we didn’t react to it. Naturally, when you don’t deny or accept, it becomes a yes. So that became a real thing and I couldn’t stop thinking about us being together like that. And now here we are, going on our very first date. What else? Let me think. Ah! I really like you. Do since the first time you hugged me while I was curled up in a ball and you picked me up with these big fucking arms and cradled me with care. And ever since then, I think I developed a bit of a crush on you. So I am trying to give it a shot. But here’s the catch, if you don’t feel up to it after tonight, we will go back to being the best of buddies. Yeah?” Louis says.

“You had a crush on me? Me, but why? Like I am no one special. Why the fuck would you like me? And I am very sure I smelled of spilled coffee and ink the first time I met you.” Harry groans.

“Still do have a crush over you. And I got good taste you see. The first time I met you, your smell helped me calm down, so shut the fuck up. You smelled like a very strong, brae, manly, man to me. And that was enough to make me calmer than usual. So if you don’t mind, I really like you, like you then, like you now. And that isn’t changing anytime sooner.” Louis says sternly, but a fondness spreading over his features.

“You are a bucket of sap and cheese. I thought I was bad, but looks like I was wrong.” Harry says as he pulls Louis into a sideways hug.

They occasionally glance at each other, smiling shyly. They were still sat extremely close to each other, thighs touching. And the warmth surrounding them resembled the warmth inside their chests. Louis was nervous. Harry was happily confused. And the date waiting.

When they reach their venue, Louis gets down first and helps Harry out the door and linking their arms again. Inside the air conditioned hall, the Maître d' asks them if they had a reservation.

“Mr. Styles.” Louis says, grinning at Harry.

The Maître d' smiles at them, leading them their way. At the terrace level their seats were decorated with roses and candles. Soft music playing in the background. Harry laughs airily as Louis pulls out the chair for him and then pushes it back in, before going ahead to sit.

 

The server hands them their menus and Louis orders, “Italian Clementine and Champagne, please.” And a soft smile to go with it.

 

Harry looks at the candle flame burning inside the darkened glass and thinks how last month he was worrying about how ever was he to live his life and today he is sat across one of the most beautiful people ever.

 

“What are you thinking? I can hear the gears turning.” Louis jokes.

 

“Just how thankful I am to have you in my life.” Harry says truthfully.

 

Louis lets out a breathy sigh and then extends his hand to hold Harry’s. “It should be the opposite actually. I am very thankful to have met you. Even more so that I have gotten to keep you. If it weren't for you, I don’t know what would have happened.

“You keep me sane, Harry. You make me live. These days I am more motivated to live life to the fullest, but with you by my side. I know I am a sappy old fool and you probably want to slap me across England, but I feel strongly for you. It's admiration, respect, love. There's a lot inside me.

 

“A lot that likes you beyond comprehension. It confuses me to a large extent and I am terrified. But yes, I want you in my life, more than my life itself.” Louis completes. He sighs aloud as Harry blearily stares at him. He looks like he is processing all this. But he looks very close to running away.

 

“Louis, you aren’t playing me are you? I know I am no Zac Efron. But I am me, and that’s all I can offer. I am nothing superficial. Not nearly rich. Not nearly as handsome. Not nearly as famous.” Harry says.

 

“No you are not. No lies. But you know what? You have a rich heart that cares too much. You are not handsome, because in my eyes you are pretty beautiful. And I hate when people use famous to describe me as famous. You know why? Because here I am trying to enjoy my time like a normal human being. But the moment someone spots me, there will be havoc. People will be trying to catch glimpses of me. They would want pictures of me to post on FB, wanting to show off in the family GC or sell to the paps. So it sucks and I love my time with you because there’s a normalcy here. When I am with you, I forget that I am an actor. I don’t need to pretend to be perfect all the time. I can have breakdowns and I know you won’t ridicule me, or see me out. Every time you are with me, my heart speeds up dramatically. I am afraid of having a machine stuck into me to see how hard it’s beating right now. Because you would laugh at me. I am afraid of you. Just as much as I am enamoured by you. And I have officially spooked you out.” Louis says as a waiter comes in with their drinks.

 

Harry closes his eyes and waits as Louis orders for them both. Louis then moves his arm to rest on top of Harry’s and Harry opens his eyes to look at Louis.

 

“I am not spooked. But we are clearly on different pages. I like you Louis. But to me it’s a little awkward. Till last month you were just some far off dream. You were the guy half the country’s gay men were lusting over. And today you are sat across me, opening your heart and laying it down for me? Me? This is still a dream. Because I have dreamt of having this back in my teens and then I just decided fantasies to remain there. Like I want to give this a chance. But I can’t handle the hate I will be getting. Neither can I handle the paps. It’s going to be difficult. It’s like I am going to be pulled into two different directions if I take the risk. I am still studying. I am only 22. Is this what I want for myself?” Harry asks as he sees a server come their way.

Louis stays silent, thinking.

 

The server places the food, refills their drinks and tells them to enjoy their food before leaving.

 

“I am sorry, Louis. But we can just enjoy the food right now. It looks quite delicious. And this champagne is very good. I suggest we forget all about what we want and don’t want and enjoy the date you paid for?” Harry suggests.

 

“Yeah, I guess.” Louis says, significantly cheered up.

 

“This fish is amazing. And the creamy sauce, umm.” Harry moans.

 

 

“Well, compliments to the chef then?” Louis asks as he wipes the corner of his mouth.

 

“We can do that?” Harry says with wide eyes and a bright smile. Louis nods and Harry whispers, “I have always wanted to do that.” Louis laughs but gestures the server over.

 

“Can we compliment the chef, please, personally?” Louis asks.

 

“Who should I say is asking for them?” The server asks.

 

“A certain Mr. Tomlinson, would you?”

 

“Oh my god you are actually doing it. I am so excited. I have never done this. Have you ever done this? I am so nervous. Oh fuck!” Harry rambled as he took another bite of his fish.

 

Soon, a stout man with a thin moustache and steps out and bows respectfully. Harry stands up and shakes his hand.

 

The man walks closer and shakes his hand and in a thick French accent says, “Comment était ton repas?”

 

“Oui. Le repas était splendide.” Louis replies fluently.

 

“Merci. Merci. Monsieur. S'il vous plaît profiter de votre repas.” The stout man says as he shakes Louis’ hand and then turns to Harry as the chef leaves, the server standing there still.

 

“Please send him a couple of drinks. Compliments from us. Any that he prefers. Thank you!” Louis smiles as he takes his seat again. The server smiling before leaving.

 

“You can speak French. Fluently, might I add?” Harry says still in awe.

 

“Oui, beau garcon.” Louis chuckles.

 

“Oh god! What did you just say?” Harry asks, startled.

 

“I said yes and complimented you via nouns.” Louis explains.

 

The server comes back and takes their empty plates away before handing them the dessert menu.

 

“Chocolate Soufflé and a Chocolate Orange tart, please. And thank you.” Louis says.

 

“Umm, chocolate. Love chocolate.” Harry says as he drinks the fourth or perhaps fifth glass of champagne.

 

“Harry, I would say you need to stop drinking. I think you have had enough.” Louis giggles a little.

 

“You think?” Harry says, glancing at his glass, the consecutive fourth, fifth. Okay fifth that he had downed since the moment Louis had complimented the chef in French. French of all languages.

 

“You are a sexy man. And I really want to suck your dick.” Harry says as Louis raises his glass to drink water. The water sputters out of his mouth and back into the glass and some out on his dress shirt too. He coughs a little as Harry bends down to rest his head between his arms that were crossed atop the table.

 

“Harry, don’t say things like that.” Louis warns.

 

“Well, why not? I am just saying what I wanted to do since 2007.” Harry giggles.

 

Louis chokes on air as he tries to drink his water again.

 

The server comes at that moment, their desserts on a platter.

 

“Hey, do you think, Mr. Tomlinson is pretty. Tell him he is pretty. So beautiful and so cute. Oh my gosh. You were the cutest. Always.”

 

“I am sorry...” Louis mutters, trying to stop his laughter.

 

“Sir, I don’t think you would like it if I called your date beautiful, pretty, and cute or any romantically inclined adjective.” The server says, grinning.

 

“No, you are right. This is my date. Thank you for your services.”

 

“My pleasure, Messrs.” The server says as he backs away, leaving their dessert on their table.

 

“Haz, I think we should head home. After we have dessert and some water. Please have some water, love.” Louis laughs.

 

“Aww, you are so sweet, Lou.” Harry giggles before drinking a glass of water.

 

Harry giggles throughout the rest of what was remaining of an eventful and adventurous dinner. Louis holding on to his hand across the table, smiling fondly at the man sat across him.

 

As they pay the bill, Louis hands a massive tip to the server and takes Harry by his waist and holds onto him as he tumbles his way out of the restaurant, giggling.

 

“You got drunk off champagne. And asked to suck my dick. Are you even real?” Louis says as he pushes Harry into the back seat of his car.

 

“Bernie, please take us back home. Don’t think I can leave him at his own flat.” Louis laughs as Harry tries to cuddle into Louis’ side. He pushes his head into his neck and sniffs him.

 

“You smell so nice, umm. Like chocolate, vanilla, strawberry and Chanel No. 5.” Harry giggles as he repeatedly takes small whiffs of Louis’ smell.

 

“This smells like my dreams. You smell like my dream. Can I kiss you if this is my dream?” Harry asks as he leans in closer to Louis’ face.

 

“No. You should behave yourself, Harry. Like seriously. Can’t handle a little French and Champagne? You horny little teenager.” Louis taunts.

 

“I was a teenager once and I wanked to your shirtless body all the fucking time. I have gotten off to you more times than actually having sex with a real person. Why the fuck would I want to give up now?” Harry says.

 

“You are filthy, Harry. Get a little drunk and you start blubbering the dirtiest of secrets.” Louis reprimands fondly as Bernie comes to a halt.

 

“Can you carry me in your arms? Back to your bedroom? And maybe fuck me like I have always dreamed of.”

 

“Shh, Harry Styles.” Louis mumbles, removing Harry's curl away from his face, and staring fondly at him. 

A bit startled, obviously, at the stuff that keeps rushing out of Harry’s mouth. But to him, it’s like another fan’s tweet, or a Tumblr confession he sometimes reads. It’s sort of funny to think, how Harry thinks he is in a dream. Louis only a figment within. And all filters lost on him. But he can’t blame him, really, how can he?

“Haz? Do you think you can walk?” Louis asks, tentatively. Sceptically, Harry nods as his eyes widen. And he looks so innocent in that moment. And he gets so incredibly cuddly when he is drunk. Louis never wants to let him go.

As it goes, all good things come to an end.

Harry stumbles on his third step, falling face first and then giggling before he pulls Louis down on the dirty pathway with him.

“Hey.” Harry says, leaning closer to Louis.

“Hi there.” Louis says.

Harry just leans further and closes the space between their faces, their lips aligning, their eyes flutter close and an embarrassing gasp leaves Louis’ mouth.

It’s not more than a peck, a chaste, drunk, heavenly peck. But it has Louis chasing after.

Harry gets up and says, “Enough tip-toeing.” As if that was supposed to mean something.

He pulls Louis up and then puts his hand around his shoulder and pulls him closer before shushing him to silence as they walk back to where they were supposed to go. Inside the house, yeah?

Louis leads Harry to his bedroom on the first floor and hands him a water bottle.

Harry takes a sip before shrugging off his jacket and collapsing on the large, comfy bed.

Louis smiles as Harry purrs with a content smile.

“Haven’t slept in such a comfy bed, ever.” Harry murmurs, nose against the sheets. And was he.... yeah he was sniffing them. “Come here, you.” He beckons Louis to him.

Louis goes, slowly undressing himself. The coat jacket. His tucked in shirt. His pants. And then he is just standing there, hovering over Harry.

Harry pulls him down and whispers across his lips, “For tonight. Forget yourself. Forget me. And just let it take control of you. Make me forget who I am.” And then they are kissing.

Louis presses Harry down on the bed, as he clambers over him, hands pressed to Harry’s soft cheeks. They deepen the kiss. Tongues gliding over each other. Love-making with just mouths. Is that possible? To feel so sensual, so hot, so steamy, while one is just kissing. Messily making out?

The thoughts linger before Harry takes over, his hands on Louis’ hip as he rolls them over. His cross necklace lands on Louis’ chest who pants as they break apart. Harry looks at him, peeking from under his eyelashes. God, this man was a dream; Louis thinks as he pulls at the hovering necklace and pulls him in for another kiss.

 

Harry rolls his hips as Louis tastes the champagne and essence of Harry on his tongue. He groans at the surge of pleasure it sends up his spine. He feels how hard Harry is and he is suddenly reminded of his heavy length, hard and aching in his boxers.

Harry stumbles out of bed aggressively pulling his jeans off before pushing Louis onto the mattress and removing the last of their clothing. Then he is mumbling, "I am gonna suck you off like never before. You are going to be blessed even without going to church."

Louis' body is hanging waist down off the bed and Harry is looking at him with hooded, lustful, blown eyes, before he is thumbing Louis’ slit, a little pre-come dribbles out and Harry spreads it onto Louis' dick, before kissing Louis' cock and then he starts off by giving him a few pumps before tugging his balls harshly, giving the head a few kitten licks all the while looking up at Louis who is slowly falling apart. Slowly, Harry takes Louis into his mouth, a little bit at a time and then he is jerking him off where his plump lips can't reach.

He starts bobbing his head, in a steady rhythm of up, down, up, down, while his tongue rolls on from his underside to the tops, licking over the vein that's popping there, and by the way Louis moans, Harry feels satiated. Harry starts bobbing his head at a dangerous speed and Louis' whining increases ×10 Louis tugs at Harry's hair and Harry pushes his limits and he can feel the tip of Louis dick go down his throat and he lets him, his nose touching Louis' minimal pubes.

He breathes in through his nose, taking in Louis' smell, and then the grunts forming in his mouth rumble through Louis, leading him to his orgasm, the first one of the night. And then Louis gets up, pushing Harry's neck back, while Harry sits on his knees, hands on Louis' hips for leverage as Louis fucks into his mouth, pushing Harry to his limit and Louis groans of pleasure at the constricting, hot feeling of Harry's throat and he is loving each moment of it, "I am close. So good baby. So good, just for me, Harry. Such a messy angel." He looks down at Harry who is looking at Louis like he is a god, staring with wide eyes, so much devotion, and two more thrusts and then Louis screams, "Ah, Harry. I am gonna come." And as he shoots his load down Harry's throat, Harry swallows every single bit of it, even when a little come dribbles out if the corner of his mouth that is already covered in spit, his face is glistening, eyes holding glassy tears.

Louis pulls Harry to his chest and kisses him like his life depended in it. He feels the slight wetness on Harry’s stomach and sees the white splattering across it. Oh! OH! “You came giving me a blowjob?” Louis asks.

“You look very hot receiving pleasure, Louis.” Is all Harry had to say, a glint in his eyes. He shuts his eyes and sighs.

"You completely knackered today?" Louis asks in hopes of having Harry tired but, "No, I still want you. Harry grumbles against Louis' chest. Louis laughs and it vibrates through Harry, who says, "Come on old man. Imma ride you tonight. You can be a lazy arse and keep lying." And okay, that sounds perfectly awesome to Louis, "Okay baby." Harry smiles innocently, dimples and all, eyes all hazy and glassy, lips red and glossy and swollen.

 Louis lubes three of his fingers and flips Harry over before pressing small kisses to the curve of Harry’s arse. His fingers ghost over Harry’s entrance. Not entering, not pressing, only fluttering above it. Harry clenches around air and whines when Louis nips at the seam right above Harry’s hole. And then he presses over the hole. Harry whines lowly and breathes airily.

“Please, please. Louis don’t tease.” Harry grits through his teeth.

“Shh, baby.” Louis chuckles as he finally presses in. Finger breaching his hole and he feels the walls clenching.

Louis prods his index finger along his middle inside Harry's arse and Harry bites on a pillow to supress his moans. “You gotta relax and stop squirming. Okay?"

Harry nods, "Uhmm, Louis. More please!" Louis smacks Harry's left ass cheek, making Harry groan and push back on Louis' fingers, fucking himself.

The sight entices Louis and he smacks the other cheek before kneading it and saying, "So needy, Harry. So needy." Louis slips in another finger and thrusts them at an unforgiving pace, making Harry moan filthily. Louis basks in the feeling of Harry's warmth around his fingers and too soon the moans from Harry become pornographic.

Harry is soon stopping Louis and pushing him back on the bed. He kisses with vigour, a sort-of thank you for being so satisfying.

He eyes the condom next to Louis’ head and slowly makes a show of moving to get it. He tears the foil with his lustful mouth, swollen, red and wet. He toys with it before he rolls it down Louis’ cock before he lubes Louis' cock, hands pressing on his undersides, playing with his ball, sucking at them making Louis groan from the excess pleasure, the heat coiling up in his stomach. Louis watches with hooded eyes as Harry slowly hovers over his cock, hand guiding Louis' length to his clenching hole and slowly setting in, slowly slipping down.

Louis groans at the feeling of his tip and only his tip being inside the warmth of Harry's hole. And Harry moans at the feeling of Louis slowly entering his rim, his head feeling engorged and the sudden invasion welcomed. Harry clenches around his tip, slowly pulling him in, swallowing him and they maintain eye-contact all the while doing this, making it much more erotic, personal and heartfelt. Hooded eyes stared back at them both, while Harry pushed down on Louis, quickly bottoming out and moaning sinfully.

Louis lets Harry adjust to his girth, and just pleasantly hums as Harry slowly picks himself up, and sits down just as quickly, groaning at the feeling of being full, Louis just lays there, hands loosely around Harry's waist, as Harry jumps on his cock, his own leaking pre-come. It’s been a while since he rode anybody, so it’s a bit difficult, but then he is moving his hips in figure eights while dropping down and stilling once and then he drops again, moaning at the new angle and his thighs quiver violently as he keeps up the rhythm he has fallen into, but Louis can see how tired Harry has become.

Like the gentleman he is, he flips them around, and he brushed across Harry's spot making Harry squeak with wonder and glee, Louis keeps the pace, hands on Harry's thighs, spreading them up, pushing them on his chest while he plunges into Harry making him scream his name out and loud, so loud he thinks his non-existent neighbours might wake up in fear of some murderer killing Harry.

But this is an assault, an assault of pleasure to Harry as Louis just keeps punching his prostrate with every thrust and Harry's legs go across Louis hips, crossing behind, pulling him closer, his, up until now, limp hands moving to his lover's hair pulling him in for a kiss that is just teeth and tongue, too much in time with speed and rhythm and Louis has gone animalistic with his pace, slow, violent growls leaving his mouth, eyes lost of all colour and concern and love, pure lust taking over.

His death grip around Harry's hips, leaving bruises as he kisses Harry bruisingly, so much biting and so much stinging, Harry feels like Louis is tearing him apart, splitting him from the middle, but he knows he is loving every moment of it.

Louis can only think 'HarryHarryHarry'.

While,

All Harry can think is 'LouisLouisLouis'.

And with a shout of Louis' name Harry comes untouched. And Louis follows suit only he muffles his shout by biting Harry's shoulder. 

Harry groans as Louis pulls out ties the condom before throwing it over his shoulder. Louis reaches out for something from a drawer, and it turns out to be a napkin roll. He tears enough to clean them both up and then he throws it over his shoulder too. He lies down and pulls Harry closer to him, hugging him before he kisses his lips softly and Harry sighs and whispers, "That was amazing."

"It was. Sleep?" Louis asks as a yawn takes over Harry.

Harry murmurs something along the lines of, 'li'ul spoon.' before he turns around in Louis' arms and immediately is lost to the world.

Louis looks endeared, tired but endeared.

He presses small kisses to Harry's back and shoulders. He kisses Harry's temple delicately and it is worth the warmth and smile that spreads across Harry's features.

 


	6. 6.

_The smoke from three days ago reminds me of your taste swirling with mine._

As soon as Louis opened the flat door, Harry pushed him on the door, and attacks him with his lips. He drags his tongue and teeth down his neck, settling for his collarbone and the dips between his neck and shoulders, that heavenly dip, which made Harry, want to take shots off his body. He nips and bites and leaves bruises in his touch. Louis stood helpless, only moaning with pleasure.

“Get it off; get it off, off with it!” Louis scrambled as he pulled at Harry’s shirt tucked inside his pants.

“Jump.” Harry said as he easily threw his shirt off his chest, immediately doing the same to Louis’ shirt.

Louis jumps and Harry holds him up from the back of his thighs, hands spanning over Louis’ bum. Louis moaned as Harry ground down on him, the friction of their clothed cocks too much for him to handle.

“Take me to bed.” Louis moaned as he leant down to rest his head on Harry’s broad shoulder. “Fuck, Harry. This is so hot!”

He raises his hips to meet Harry’s, their hardened shafts gliding together. Harry’s hands immediately go up besides Louis’ head to hold him up. Louis ground on him again, making Harry lose his breathe and his coherency. “F...F-Fuck, Lou! Goddamn!”

“Yeah, you like this Harry? Like when I do this? You know what you will like more, being inside me, fucking me into incoherency, fucking me till I can’t see straight.” Louis provokes. “You want that, don’t you, want to be inside me, and want to fuck me, yeah?”

Harry licks his lips once before kissing Louis, and getting up and prodding his lubed finger in the cerise crack of Louis’ arse. He slowly pushes his finger in the hole, and is met with no sounds from Louis, so he looks up for approval or anything. He meets Louis’ eyes and Louis tells him, “Harry, one finger might feel weird, but if you don’t get along to put another and start fucking them into me, I won’t be prepped and I won’t be receiving any goddamn pleasure.”

He goes ahead and adds another finger before plunging in straightforwardly up to his knuckles, the sound that Louis makes is a mix of a hiss and a yes. Or a yes that he hisses. Harry does that over and over, watches Louis fall apart on his fingers, and watches Louis’ legs starting to quiver.

“Your fingers are so much longer and wider than mine, fucking me so well, Haz, so well.”

Louis whimpers as Harry curls his fingers hitting a ridge, not his spot, but the wall, and Louis was sensitive, very sensitive.

Harry smirks doing it again and again and again.

He carefully scissors him open after the mini torture road he went down on. He adds another finger after that and Louis went absolutely crazy after that, grinding down on Harry’s fingers and whimpering each time it went in too far.

“Harry, please, please, just get up here.” Louis begs.

Harry lets his fingers out and leans down to kiss Louis. He bites down on his Adam’s apple and sucks a bruise there, then moving down to kiss all the bruises he marked on Louis. He dipped down again in the space between Louis’ collarbones, marking him up multiple times there.

“Harry, fuck me, now!” Louis whined.

“I want to take this slow. Properly, like a gentleman would, I want to give you the utmost satisfaction by going slow and make you feel everything. Can you please, please have the patience?” Harry says as he slips down to kiss Louis’ chest and his stomach. He pinches Louis’ nipples and makes him squeak, but soon as he rubbed them, Louis’ sounds turned from distressed to overwhelmed.

Harry’s wildest fantasy was right in front of him, all open and wide for him, this was driving him crazy. He doesn’t waste too much time and starts to lube his condom clad cock, and aligns himself to Louis’ hole, before asking, “You can ask me to stop whenever. Alright?”

Louis spreads his legs wider as he moves a bit forward and guides Harry’s cock towards his hole. Both of them moan as Harry slowly slips it in and Louis tries to move up to meet Harry’s hips. However, he cannot because it is so overwhelming and it is Harry and his hands are on his hips and he is holding onto Harry’s shoulder now and Harry is not pushing his limits, he is patiently waiting for Louis’ to get adjusted. Louis cries out, “Oh, Harry! You are so deep, it feels so good. Do you think you could move?”

“Just a moment, baby. You are so tight; I don’t want to hurt either of us.” Harry replies, voice choked. Harry wanted to push into the heat of Louis’ bum. He cannot bring himself to buck up into the sweet, sweet heat of Louis. His senses are in overdrive, filled with lust and he wants to push Louis down and fuck him, but he cannot, he wills himself to stop.

When Harry bottoms out finally, Louis’ arms wind around Harry’s neck and his fingers wind up in Harry’s hair. Louis grinds up gently, but he feels so full right now, so fucking full and he wants to move, but fuck, Harry is impaling him and it is so wide and so long and it is Harry.

Harry moved faster, pushing up into Louis. Louis was whining, and Harry pushed him down and laid him straight as he fucked into Louis, harder and faster.

“More! Give me all of you.” Louis moaned out as Harry grabbed both of Louis hands that had started touching him, and pushed them over his head and held onto them. He smirked at how helpless Louis looked in that moment as his face crumpled and in equally faster time, his mouth opened wide. Harry held his hands with one and pushed his other hand to hold Louis’ thigh over his shoulder as he changed the angle to fuck into him harder than before. Louis’ mouth was open in a silent scream as Harry attacked his prostate with hard thrusts in the perfect rhythm he had built, not once did his hips stutter as he attacked Louis’ insides like a hungry predator.

Louis’ voice stuttered and his breath hitched when Harry folded him in two to fuck him better, the earlier assault felt meagre in front of the oncoming move. Louis writhed under Harry, loving it too much. Harry was lost to lust and Louis was partially conscious. To some extent the bruising on Louis’ hips from where Harry was holding him and the bites on both their chests and swelling of Louis’ tummy where the indent of Harry’s cock could be seen were like the hints of prey and predator in action.

Harry freed Louis’ arms and Louis’ immediate reaction was to put them behind Harry’s neck and pull him up where he could kiss Harry. It was a bite and punch together, it was bruising and heated and filled with passion.

“H-Harry, m’ close. Fuck, harder.” Louis moans.

Louis’ back raised in pleasure grinding down to meet Harry’s thrusts. He knew Harry was close from his thrusts turning erratic, losing rhythm. A final blow to his spot has him arching off the bed and Harry peers from under closed eyes to see Louis come in white ropes all over his tummy and chest, eyes closed, mouth open in a silent scream, and body looking deliciously wrecked.

“I’m close too, shit. Bear with me some more.” Harry stutters out. His hips stutter as Louis’ tries to thrusts down and help him to his orgasm. Harry thrusts hard and slow, thrice before he can feel Louis clench around him and he gives up, letting pleasure take over him. He spills in the condom and stills as Louis grinds as he milks him through his orgasm, helping him ride out his high.

Harry slowly pulls out before kissing Louis twice, thrice. He ties the condom and walk over to the ensuite to and comes back with a wet flannel. He wipes Louis down and throws the cloth on the ground.

Louis thanks him and Harry cuddles him smothering him with little kisses to his eyes and everywhere on his face. Louis’ genuinely felt sated as they fell asleep to each other’s heartbeats.

 

 

~~~~~~

_And there’s a hundred promises laid unfulfilled._

“Come with me to LA.” Louis said one night as he and Harry lay in bed, sweaty, sticky and their breaths coming out in short gasps.

It’s been almost seven months since that haphazard night. They were the scandal around town. Every Louis Tomlinson fan knew about this random man who had taken over their star.

“What?” Harry asked, bemused.

“You finished your semester.  I am tired of these constant flying around. And I would love to have you around me in LA. Come with.” Louis said as he combed his fingers through Harry’s curls.

“What now, you are my sugar daddy of sorts?” Harry said, chuckling.

“No, like you are my buddy. We also fuck around. And like staying away from home, it’s always been Liam who reminds me of home, keeps me grounded. But what with Zayn in the picture, he is too busy to fly around the world at a days notice. Thought you were too pretty to wait here, so come with.” Louis explains, sighing.

“Lou, I have three different jobs and a friend. I am yet to start a career. I can’t just follow you around the world.” Harry says.

“Start a career in California, USA. Great job opportunities. Or maybe do another degree from a College there. You are what, 19?” Louis kids.

“Ha-ha, Mr. I-Am-Super-Old and I’m-a-wealthy-sugar-daddy.  Going to fly his sugar-baby to wherever I am.” Harry says, smirking.

“Hey!” Louis whines.

“I am 22. And I want to think before I give you a definitive answer.” Harry says, not meeting Louis’ eyes as he picked himself up and started scrambling for his clothes.

“Haz, wait! Where are you going?” Louis asks.

“I am still a cabbie. I still earn money. I am not letting you do anything for me. I need to- I need to regain my balance and control. It’s like since I have met you, I have just given up on everything that I did. I will call you, maybe.” Harry says as he ends up against the door, heaving, almost panicking.

There is no goodbye, nor a goodbye kiss or a cheeky remark.

Louis flops down on his bed, saddened at the fact that Harry felt out of control.

Harry, the guy who has ruined Louis from within. Not a moment goes by when he isn’t thinking about him. Even when talking to Dr. Severna, all he can talk or think about is Harry and how his presence helps him. And now he just upped and left.

Louis has lost reins on himself, he has lost control. And Harry has the nerve to tell Louis that he has lost control.

Louis was angry, sad, upset and tired. It felt like he is back to where he began.

In love with someone who cannot love him back.

~~~~~~

Eventually it turns out; Louis goes to LA alone and loses all contact with Harry. Harry didn’t try to contact him so Louis let him go. They never contacted each other. The shoot went really well, the movie was on track. Louis was back home and sulked every day.

Liam moved out. He lived alone in the house he called his own. He posted stupid selfies online. He cussed his fans on twitter. And he bought a dog and he loved him.

And one day he hears his bell go off.

“Coming.” He grumbles from where he was sat on the couch, shirtless because apparently one has to do laundry to have clean clothes.

“What?” He says blindly before he opens his eyes and then they bulge out at the sight in front of him.

“Hi.” Harry says, smiling curtly.

“Hi. What are you doing here?” Louis asks, a smile creeping up his face.

“Thought, would see how you are doing. Seems like you are doing okay. So I will, uh, go?” Harry says, or asks.

“No, come in. Catch up on everything.” Louis says; more than giddy to just have Harry back in his life.

“Looking good, Lou.” Harry whispers.

“You do too.” Louis says back, smiling small. “Beer? Juice? Tea?”

How does a day of lounging alone, moping about life, end in being sweaty and panting, in your bed, with the guy you just fucked trying to cuddle you? It does when you are Louis Tomlinson.

Was this their pattern? Do everything friends do, along with a big dash of healthy sex and an even bigger dash of unhealthy communication. Yes, perhaps this was their pattern. Hang around, fuck about, and forget important details of each other’s lives. Forget they have issues. Forget they have problems.

Sure, it had loopholes. For one, Louis was in love. Second, this was unhealthy and they refused to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Harry’s unwillingness to let him in and his unwillingness to tell Harry anything about his past. But did they realize that in this process they had left the world to burn.

Liam and Louis lost all contact, after that one night Louis yelled and screamed for Liam to just get out of his life. Because he doesn’t need a mother. He doesn’t need a friend. He doesn’t need Liam.  Liam had cried, but had immediately acted on Louis’ _order_.

For Harry and Niall, they had a little falling out. Harry would get drunk every night, and Niall just couldn’t see his friend like that. On confrontation, Harry threw the tantrum of a lifetime and it resulted in Niall leaving, his end of the lease resigned.

So here they were, two fucked up individuals, lying in bed. Eyes shut, minds running. They couldn’t touch each other. They felt like if they brought in any proximity that breached the romantic boundary, they would spontaneously combust.

Harry’s back was to Louis and Louis’ back was to Harry.

The darkness of the room and the faint light shining made Louis feel like he was stuck in a movie. The irony of his life.

His eyes locked on Harry’s back, it was really a sob story how he had this lad, and still didn’t have him. He wanted to reach out and touch, but couldn’t bring himself to do so.

So he turned back around and shut his eyes to stop the occasional welling eyes of his.

~~~~~~

“What is all this? Why are we here?” Harry asks bewildered as Louis opens his car door and leads him to the unlit park.

“Come here.” Louis says as he pulls Harry out.

“This is where you first brought me. That night when I was vulnerable. You held me close to your chest and you made me feel safe. You looked me in the eye and promised you would keep me safe.  I fell down a bad hole that night. And each time I called you after that; it wasn’t you coming back for more, but me being the one who called you around for more. You see, Harry, you are intoxicating, ethereal and it’s impossible to not attach oneself to your person.” Louis stops to take a deep breath.

“Louis- stop. Just stop. I know where this conversation is going and I don’t like the direction it’s headed.” Harry says sharply.

“You see Harry. Once a person gets a taste of love, you keep coming back for more. You keep falling again and again. Even when you made it quite clear where our boundaries started and ended, I kept looking for loopholes to draw the lines through.” Louis doesn’t stop.

“Louis! I said stop. Don’t do this.” Harry screams.

“Guess I was so blind in looking for loopholes to loosen the ties in those fences that I didn’t realize that I was ultimately drawing lines with zero connectivity. The colours that were meant to be within the lines just blotted the entire sheet. Ruined them to the point of no return. I am the sheet. I am ruined. You are the colour. You ruined me.” Louis says, laughing sadly.

“Don’t... Please, just don’t.” Harry begged, tears in his eyes.

“I am laughing at us, Harry. I am laughing, because since I have met you, metaphors have meant something else. I am a living metaphor. We have spun us a web of metaphors. Pages and lines and colours and journeys. The lines have blurred too much. It’s time to come clean.” Louis says, laughing maniacally.

Harry looks down at his feet when he hears the rustle of Louis’ coat and then the click of a gun’s safety trigger being pulled back. He looks up to see the gun pointed to his face before Louis makes a show of pulling the trigger before declaring, “One bullet, and two lives. We will see how this ends.” Before he shoots at Harry. No bullet comes out.

Louis smiles and then pushes the gun against his temple and says, “It’s always the second one.” Before shooting himself. The bullet impact is seen before it is heard. Louis’ temple blows and the blood and other matter explodes and paints the snow red.

Harry doesn’t realize he is screaming till the darkness around him grows and he feels someone calling him out.

“Harry? Harry? Oh, fuck! Harry, wake the fuck up.” Louis. He is alive. Oh fuck.

“Lou-Louis. You are alright, oh fuck!” Harry is crying, tears streaming down his face as he captures Louis’ face in his hands. He just brushes every part of his face with utmost urgency.

“I am alright, I am alright, and you are alright. It’s all okay. Nothing happened.” Louis mumbles sleepily as he straddles Harry’s thighs and tries to calm him down.

Louis plays with his hair and rubs his neck as Harry sniffles in his chest.

Something in Harry moves as he grips Louis’ hips and turns them over. He is a mess as he hovers over Louis. Louis curls his fingers in Harry’s hair and pulls him down for a kiss.

They have fucked way too many times, but it’s always urgent, always way too quick way too urgent and way too dirty. Somehow they managed to pour all their affection into this one time as they rolled onto the bed and Harry held Louis back to chest as he slowly thrusted in. Tears rolling down both their faces.

Was this the passion Louis was wanting?

Is this Harry realizing something?

What was this supposed to mean?

Louis was asleep by the time their tears dried. The moon was still high up and the clouds made it seem too cinematic. Harry was stuck in a loop. The moment Louis’ head blew up playing over and over again in his head.

And by the time it’s played a million times, Harry is dressed up, a piece of paper in his hand. The words ‘I am sorry.’ Written on them.

The tears seemingly unending flowed down his cheeks. He found himself sitting in his car and driving away to the cemetery back in Holmes Chapel. He had tears glistening in his eyes but he wanted to be away from his house, wanted to be somewhere he knew as his home.

 

It was early morning, the sun about to rise, painting the horizon orange, when he was sitting on the cold dewy grass in front of his family’s grave. He talked airily for an hour before he found himself feeling a tug in his heart.

Suddenly it was clear to him.

He didn’t belong here.

This wasn’t home, not anymore.

His home was back in London.

And it wasn’t four walls and inanimate.

 


End file.
